May 31, 2006
Life is insane. The insanity never stops. Oil wars. The battle of the sexes. The generation gap. Global warming. Hate crimes. Crimes of passion. Serial killers, child rapists, corporate raiders. Toxic waste. Walmart. It never stops. Nothing ever really gets better. The bullshit flows from the podium and the pulpit down to the hungry masses. The masses are asses. They hungrily eat it up so they regurgitate the bullshit and go to war over it.
You wanna know what happened? Read the book.
The Shadow knows 10:51 PM
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May 22, 2006
It occurred to me today as I was working that it's been a while since I had to kick the living shit out of anyone for mouthing off to me. I have a wife. I have a house. I have a business. I have friends and hobbies. I have plans. So is life good? Who the fuck knows. All I know is I have enough to keep me going for a while. But then again, there could be some drunk ass redneck idiot motherfucker just waiting to run me down and end it. Fuck it.
Tomorrow night is a shindig at my doc's place. It's somebody's birthday, but I can't remember whose. It doesn't matter as long as they serve food and Hank. We got our tix for Rollins Band and X. GB got like front fucking row. It'll be ass-kicking chaos as usual.
I've got a lot of work to keep me busy for quite a while. Dickie's pretty happy with the accounts I've been throwing him. He even got himself some health insurance. How do you like them apples? Good thing, too. He ate dogfood tacos at the HoodFest and had to go to the ER. It was amusing watching him puke as he was trying to talk to Little Miss Do. She ran away from him and then said she was trying to find the medic. Right.
I'm letting my wife and Miss Ennui move into their house in about a month. That's as long as they have to get everything all straightened out. That fucking Carey chick told them where to get even more stuff for the house. They're trying to break my bank. I don't like saying no to the wife, but...
The Shadow knows 11:50 PM
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May 17, 2006
I've been a busy boy. I've had a lot of shit to do at the house. We had Bunny and the boys come in to rewire the whole goddam thing. I wasn't gonna do that at first, but fuck it. I can't plug a goddam thing in without running new juice. Fuck it. I don't care. I'm in and I'm going all the way down with this thing.
My wife and the Yugo are painting. They're painting everything. They're painting the kitchen tomorrow and Friday and then they'll start with the upstairs. She wanted to paint the attic but I'm not letting her. I like it up there with the old wood. It's got hobo marks all over the place.
I gotta get more jobs. The kitty's running low. Maybe I'll call some of my pornpals and see if they need a webber. I need some serious cash to feel good again. Our East Coast jobs are almost done. That money's already been spent on Bunny and the boys. Fuck it. I don't care. As long as my wife is happy and she has a roof over her head.
What's next? Landscaping. Like that's gonna happen. That fucking Carey chick brought a dog over two days ago. One of her clients breeds dogs and gave it to her but she can't have it because she lives in that box and she's never home. So what does she do? She brings that shit to my house. Fucking bitch. I don't need another mouth to feed. That's the last fucking thing I need.
The Shadow knows 9:10 PM
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May 09, 2006
So we ran into Little Miss Do and her pops. We met up with them at the Smith. It was cool. GB's mom and dad and Mr. Do were a fucking riot. GB likes to start fires like that, having his folks run into each other in public places. It's fun to watch.
Little Miss is all cranked up because we're taking her to see X and Rollins Band. She's never seen Hank live. I'm cranked for X. Fuckin' A it's gonna be good. I think we're all in the circle. It'll be good. I need a good show.
My wife and Miss Ennui are moving into the house at the end of the month. We've still got the kitchen and bath to do before I let my wife loose in there with her paint brush. I hate laying tile. Hate it. But what the fuck ever. As long as it gets done and if you want something done right, better do it yourself.
I'm ready to get home. This whole trip has been kinda drag. Unreasonable assholes everywhere. The last meeting we had was this nutty chick for some vegan non-profit thing. She was one of those kinda hot tree-hugger chicks. The whole time we were having the meeting she kept arching her back and rubbing her neck and tilting her head to the side and it was like what the fuck is she doing? Yoga? Plus she wasn't wearing a bra. Whatever.
The Shadow knows 2:28 PM
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May 03, 2006
This trip was more than I bargained for. GB is goofing off it, but I've hit the wall with this shit. We set up our meetings and it's just been go, go, go, and go some more since we got in. We've had shit at the hotel, we've had meetings all over this fucking city. And what's up with this DUMBO shit? Fuck those stupid artist fucks. They've got all kinds of webbers out here, why'd they call us in for some stupid, lame-ass shit that anyone could for them. Plus, I'm just not impressed with their "art". Sorry. Yawn. Next.
New York is only good for the food. That's a lie. The chicks here are pretty hot. Not that I need anything, but the view is fine. GB is still all worried about his chick. He calls her three times a day. She's still kind of strung out. She's been working a lot of long hours at her shit job. She keeps saying she's gonna get herself knocked up by a plastic surgeon so she can become an OC housewife. I don't know what her deal is, but it's not funny anymore.
We're setting up to make bank on this trip. GB wants to head down to DC to see Mr. and Mrs. Satan's Creepshow. I'd really rather not. I told him to just go take care of his obligations, but he just shined his folks on. We're heading down to Florida to go check some shit tomorrow and then that's that. Back to the LBC. Back to reality.
I bought my chick some old drawer handles for her kitchen. I hope that makes her happy. GB bought a shitload of lingerie for his chick. I'm sure that'll make her smile. Something should. We haven't seen or heard from his ex on this trip. Hopefully she's all gone away. When we hit Florida we're supposed to go see a man about a dog, but I think we're done with that shit. I say we are.
Allright, kids. It's off to bed. Sweet nightmares.
The Shadow knows 10:43 PM
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April 26, 2006
As of this morning the new job is done. Done and done, kids. No mas tweaking. No mas additions. The template is set and it's been packaged and it's on it's way to the man.
I leave for New York next week. We'll swing down to Florida for a few days and then GB wants to hit DC on our way back. It's the jackass tour. I want to see some shows while we're there. I hope that fucking idiot ex of his doesn't come around. That chick was a fucking drag last time.
So Hank's got a little Jew Boy in him. S'cool. Someone should let that goofer Adam Sandler know he'll have to change his one hit wonder.
The plumbers are almost done and the electrical is coming along. Fucking LBC shut me down for permits. One of my asshole neighbors must've turned me in. Fuckers. It's cool. That Carey chick told me how to get around them and not stand in line. She knows people and that's a good thing. I should probably listen to her more often. Don't tell anyone I said that. It would be easier to listen to her if she didn't talk so fucking much.
The Shadow knows 11:08 AM
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April 20, 2006
I fired the plumber today. What a dick. I told that motherfucker I didn't want him using one piece of plastic on the job and he thought I was too dumb to notice that he was using it all over the job. Useless fucktard. I had to go ahead and call the guy that Carey chick recommended. I should've just let her handle the whole fucking in the first place.
I got a new account yesterday. This one'll be good. I've let some of the smaller accounts go to Dickie. This one will take me and some boys at least a week to turn around. Just in time, baby. Just in time to make that first mortgage payment.
My wife and Miss Ennui are jonesing to move in. That ain't gonna happen anytime soon. There's still plumbing, electrical, floors, walls, and finishing to do. Neither of them have any idea. Every time GB comes by the job he tells me I'm an idiot. It could be true.
I'm a busy boy and that's exactly how I like it. I'm leaving for Florida and New York, in two weeks. I gotta get over there before summer. I can't do New York in July. No one should have to.
Nothing insane has occurred for a while. Maybe the cloud over my life is lifting. Maybe it's just intermission before the big ass kicking. We'll see what happens. Either way, I don't give a shit. No matter what I'm still the same. I'm still me.
I think GB is going with me to New York. I hope his chick can handle that. If not, she'll have to deal.
The Shadow knows 3:52 PM
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