October 30, 2005
I've walked into a fucking nightmare. One of The Crew was killed last night. He was running across the street and this worthless sack of putrid shit ran him down. Knocked his ass right out of his shoes. Totally mangled him.
I was at a party with those people I met. Caitlin and Brigid and Rick and Gio. His name is pronounced like "joe". He went back to the car because his chick, Caitlin, forgot her doll in the car. They were the Addams family. Brigid was Morticia and Rick was Gomez. Gio was Pugsley and Caitlin was Wednesday. I refused the offer to go as Uncle Fester. I thought of maybe going as Cousin It, but I decided to just go as myself. Or a serial killer. Same difference.
We all went into the party and he went running back to the car for his chick. That's when the drunk ass motherfucker came down the hill like his ass was on fire. The bitch of it is Gio was running to get away from him and the drunken fuckface slammed on the brakes to avoid hitting him. It was meant to be. The stupid motherfucker slid all over the road before he knocked him onto a parked car. It's a miracle he didn't flip the bitch over. He was driving one of those monster SUV's. I think it was like an Expedition or some other useless unnecesarry waste of money, gas, and metal.
Everyone heard it happen, but I was the only one of us who saw it. I'm glad his chick didn't see it. She's pretty bad off as it is. She's still in the hospital. She kind of collapsed on the sidewalk. Then Brigid didn't know which one of her friends to take care of. I thought it was kind of obvious, but she still tried to make Gio breathe. The drunk motherfucker came out of the SUV and started screaming "What the fuck just happened?" I punched him in the face three times, I think. When the cops came I told them he tried to flee the scene and everyone there backed me. Rick was yelling at Brigid "Tell me what to do!" and she kept screaming at him to call 911 and to help Caitlin. Finally the paramedics got there and they took everyone to the hospital.
I told the cops everything, but I didn't know everyone's last name. Rick and Brigid went to the hospital with Caitlin. So I was there with the cops and Gio's corpse. I asked the cops if I could get the keys to the car. They let me take Gio's wallet and keys. After the coroner took his body I found Caitlin's headless doll on the sidewalk. I still have it.
I got the car and I took it back to Caitlin's apartment and then I made about 10 phone calls. My doctor just got here. I think he's going to transfer Caitlin back down to the LBC. I went to the hospital and brought Brigid and Rick some food. I don't know what the fuck else to do.
I called my wife and told her what happened and she said she forgives me for coming up here and told me to come home immediately. I have a meeting tomorrow morning and then I'm out. This place sucks.
The Shadow knows 11:03 PM
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October 28, 2005
I am a sleeping volcano. But I'm waking up.
I was on a plane all fucking morning and now I'm up here in San Francisco. I have met Brigid, one of "The Crew". What a fucking bitch. She does look like Anna Nicole Smith. Sucks to be her. And that mouth. I loved it.
My wife is pissed at me because Halloween is one of her favorites and I ditched her. She's going to all the parties with The Yugo. She wouldn't tell me this herself. I had to use my incredible powers of detective sleuthing. Just kidding. Miss Dolittle told me. I would probably never have figured it out. She's just gonna have to be mad. I can't ditch a client. I can't rearrange shit at the last minute. If she had told me why she was pissed maybe I could have done something about it, but what the fuck? I can't just bring her a present and expect her to swallow it. If she's pissed, she's pissed. She has every right to be, but I don't know what the hell to do about it.
I'm supposed to go to a party with these Crew people tomorrow night.
The Shadow knows 8:31 PM
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October 27, 2005
Motherfucking sons of bitches down the street are fucking killing me. Last night they had the whole fucking street blocked off for some fucking bullshit. Tonight I had to park down on Cowles because they had the shit all blocked off again. I've been parking my truck inside since my favorite crack whore fucked me up. I can't even find any motherfuckers to ass kick.
Fuck I'm aggravated. Enervated. Pissed the fuck off. All of it.
I have to chill out. I've been sitting here in the cave trying to chill and I can't. I want to kill somebody. Slowly. I want to hear their pain and relish that I'm causing it. I want someone to feel what I feel. I want someone to feel the sharp heat of the blade as it slices open and the flesh bursts apart and the blood gushes. I want that. I want to smell the fear of my prey as it whimpers and twists in agony and the aniticipation of more agony.
I'm in a sick fuck mood. I can't find anybody. Fucking Dickie and Sleeves are in bot town with the racers. GB and Miss Ennui are holed up somewhere fucking their brains out. My wife is so pissed at me she split and I fucking can't find her anywhere. I even called Miss Dolittle. She told me to come over and have dinner with her and the parents. It was so fucking funny. I can't even imagine it. Perfect Mom and Great Dad and Miss Dolittle in the spotless dining room with the classical music in the background. And then there's me. Sitting there with a spotlight over my head. Hey, howzitgoin? Don't worry, sir. I don't want to fuck your daughter. Of course I'm the only straight man on the planet who doesn't, but pure as the driving snow ain't my thing. I like my chicks to know some shit. I'm no one's teacher. I could give her pops a heart attack. I could give her mom a nice hard fuck, though. Guess we all know where little miss gets it.
Strike that. Just kidding. I'm a pig. I'm a pig and I'm alone. I'm a brother to darkness and alone. Okay. It's cool. Here I blog. There I work. Why? Because it's work. Work, work, then work some more and when you come up for air the feelings will be gone and the weather has changed.
The Shadow knows 12:37 AM
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October 20, 2005
I'm waiting for GB to get here. We have to go to the Silverlake yards to get hinges and gates. I don't know why we let people talk us into doing shit for them. Sleeves is getting a beating as soon as we get back. I'd gladly beat the living shit out of him right now, but he's currently unavailable. He's been emailing little miss and she told me this morning that he emailed her a pic of little Sleeves to show her what she's missing. Nice, huh. As much as I care for my dick I've never had any impulse to photograph it. Most exhibitionists should be caged.
I'm trying to remember the name of a restaurant I went to up there last year. It was so fucking good my mouth is watering when I think of it. I'm retarded like that. I can never fucking remember the name of a place after I eat there. Unless I eat there every other fucking day. I don't want to have to eat Mexican or Eyetie today.
When we're up there I'll look around for some stuff for my wife. She's been kinda blue lately. My fucking bitch in law is fighting for custody of her other two kids and she needs my wife to help her out. Funny, but I just don't think it's gonna happen.
The Shadow knows 2:27 PM
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October 18, 2005
My roof leaked. Rain came in and ruined some of the fabric I brought back from NYC for my wife. She's so fucking pissed she's not talking to me. I know she's not blaming me, but she doesn't know what else to do with her anger. It was nice fabric, too. Whatever. I'll get her some more. That doesn't make her relax. She can't chill. Shit just keeps coming down.
My monster in law came looking for us with her new boyman Douglas the Dick. Did I call it? I fucking called it. He's probably in her back door right now. The drama continues. She's been crying because baby doll won't come home. Then she tried the what have you done to my house when I was gone shit, but my wife and Miss Ennui just laughed in her face. She's leaving for Africa in a week. It might have been unkind of us, but we signed her up on the match.com website looking for a big fat black guy with kids. Her email should be nice and full by tomorrow.
What else is going on? I thought I was done with my travels, but I'm leaving town again. I'm not sure if I'm going up to San Francisco or to Seattle to see some people. I love traveling with my broke leg. It's so much fun. When I'm done with this stupid leg I'll be taking dance lessons with my wife. Yeah, I said dance lessons. What's it fucking to ya? She wants to learn how to dance all those stupid dances and I don't give a shit. I watched some show with her about dancing and it's just some old-fashioned kind of shit. We won't be jitterbugging or doing that celbrity ballroom shit. Just some regular shit so we don't make complete fools out of ourselves at L&D's wedding next summer. That's the big trip to France. Start saving your pennies now. There will be spending. There will be drinking. There will be eating. There will be dancing. There will be sight-seeing. There will be much fornicating. Oh, and more spending.
The Shadow knows 7:29 PM
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October 16, 2005
Miss Eliza is now determined to interview Henry Rollins. Good fucking luck. She wrote him and he denied her. He told her he was too busy. She's crushed, but she thinks it's still going to happen sometime. I think this is her bounce back from Sleeves.
My wife and I spent today walking around in the rain. It was fun. We went up to Santa Monica and I bought her a $165 pair of shoes. Yeah, fuck me. It's not a matter of affording it or not. It's a matter of being pig American consumers. No one needs $165 shoes. They were on sale. Marked down from $325. She went crazy when she saw them and I let her try them on. Oh yeah, I LET her. Like I have any fucking say over it. She ran to those shoes like a moth to a flame. They only had two pairs left and one of them was her size. She took it as a sign from the Shoe God, no that would be Shoe Goddess, that it was meant to be. So I bought the fucking shoes for her and maybe she'll wear 'em tonight when we practice making babies.
Eliza has a bug up her ass about Henry Rollins. I told her to leave him alone and she got her feelings all hurt. She told me to go join the Yahoo group because I was acting just like them. What a little brat. GB and Miss Ennui are keeping a short chain on her. I don't understand her game. She's got a theory about Hank. It's not hers, it's actually that Carey chick's theory about Henry and Joe. The theory will always be just a guess. Who to ask? I've got some pretty big balls, but not big enough to ask Hank jack shit about Joe. I wouldn't even have the balls to mention Joe Cole in Henry's presence. Not even within his earshot. I woudn't even want it to get back to Hank that I had a dream about him and Joe. Get me? It's untouchable. It's off limits. Joe belongs to Hank. Everyone else hands off. I'm not sure Miss Eliza Dolittle gets that yet. So she's built Hank up on a huge pedestal because he reached out to her. Big fucking deal. Who hasn't he reached? The idiots. The morons. The brain dead. The heartless illiterate fucks who don't even know who he is. Only Hank can reach in and grab you and shake you awake. Okay, not just Hank. There's other writers who can do it, too. Selby. Bukowski sometimes. There's a lot of people who like that David Sedaris guy but I tried to read his shit and it didn't do anything for me.
What I don't get is why Eliza is with us. I dig her, but I don't get her. She's got the Sunnyside dream. Two functional parents. Money. Stability. Freedom. Opportunities. What more could she want or need? What brings her to our clubhouse?
The Shadow knows 9:13 PM
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October 13, 2005
My wife has a crush on Criss Angel. She's watching him right now on A&E. Now I have to try to learn some card tricks to impress her. Dickie told me to knock her up to keep her from leaving me for school. I should have knocked his head but I let the wave pass.
I got Dickie working on the job. I got Sleeves, too. Miss Eliza Dolittle isn't going to like that, but that's too bad. What happened with them is none of mine. I did knock Sleeves in the head for acting like such a fucking rager. Miss Ennui is right. He doesn't know what to do with chicks. He thinks they're just in the world for his convenience. More chicks for him to fuck. More chicks for him to hang out with because they're pretty and they smell good and it's fun to watch their tits jiggle when they walk.
This job I'm doing is different from anything else. I'm using an entirely new color palette and scheme. I got nothing to go on. I'm starting from scraps. It's cool. Gotta have more than one drill for the bit. The chicks are going to a thing on Friday. We're not invited. Fine. Fuck it. We're taking the whole weekend off. That means I have to go to physical therapy tomorrow too. Today was brutal. I got my massage though. My wife came with me today to watch how they do it. She wants to learn how to take care of me.
She told me today that she's going to New York City with Miss Ennui to become a courteson. I don't know what the fuck that's supposed to be. Some uptown kind of hooker or something. It's funny to think of her walking around in stilettos asking funky old shitbags what they like. They go to this stripping class where they're learning to strut and hump the pole. Now Eliza wants to go. I told her no. That started a whole you're not the boss of me fight and then I told her no again. It's not for her. Not now. Later maybe. Sure got Sleeves' balls in an uproar. That was amusing.
I can't fucking wait to get this cast off. I'll do a two-legged dance up and down Magnolia. My fucking bitch in law is supposed to be getting kicked from the drunk farm any day now. Won't that be fun. She'll come home to an empty house with no family to greet her. Fuck her. I can't wait for the shit to come down when the Dickhead tells her what's been going on. Fun, fun, fun!
The Shadow knows 1:02 AM
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October 07, 2005
Greetings from the trenches. I've been working on a new job and it's taking me to places I never thought I'd go. Today I went and took pictures of a bunch of kids on a playground. Yeah, totally me, I agree. Tomorrow I'm taking a bunch of pics of some baby and a toddler kid and a pregnant woman. It's all for a new site I'm doing. Did you ever see me as big Daddy?
Speaking of Dad's, mine caught up with me two days ago. What a motherfucker. I can't stand that asshole. He came right into the bar and started in with me about how I treat my mother. How I treat my mother? What about that wife-beating sack of shit? He was standing behind me going off about my lack of respect and how it made him sick and that he was gonna kick my ass into next week and I just swung around and knocked him to the ground. Of course I've still got a whole leg in a cast, so I was somewhat at a handicap. Goth and Dickie stood up to get my back. My da is a mad motherfucker. He just looked at me real dark and told me to never come home again. That was so fucking funny. It was so fucking hilarious coming from him. Even GB started laughing. Don't ever come home? What fucking home? That's what I asked him. What are you talking about? What fucking home? He never gave me a fucking thing but bullshit and I owe him zero. That stupid bitch he's married to also. Fuck 'em both. I told him to fuck off and then he just spit on the floor and walked out. What a fucking pussy.
My wife and I are having some problems. We're into each other, but it's starting to feel like life is pulling us apart. I don't know what's going to happen. It'll work itself out. Everything does.
The Shadow knows 1:24 PM
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October 01, 2005
We're back. Did you miss me? Sure you did. I went to New York and Pennsylvanis with Goth Boy. We dropped by DC for a day. We met up with his mom in New York. What a crazy fucking bitch. She's kind of like my mother-in-law. Except my mother-in-law is a very pretty day old cupcake. GB's mom is like a mannequin in a store. She's very beautiful, very stiff, and completely hollow. She's like a store mannequin that's been possessed by a she-demon. Yup, I think I got it. That's what she is. We bought her lunch at the Russian Tea Room. I half expected to get some shit when we walked in there because everyone's so fucking proper. But we were in New York and they probably thought we were rockers or some lame shit like that. When we all walked in together they started being really schmoozy and shit. It was totally fucking lame. All GB's mom ever eats is soup. She drinks vodka martinis and drinks soups. I bet she hasn't taken a real shit in years.
We picked up a fucking shitload of vinyl. There was a street peddler who got pegged and we threw him $200 as the cops were busting him and he just started yelling at us to take it all. We walked away with three boxes each. GB hooked a cab and we loaded in. We left what we didn't want in the hotel. There was only about 20 pieces we didn't want. There was a real ancient SOA and some random shit like Angry Samoans, Surf Punks, Butthole Surfers, The Cramps, and The Misfits, and some BritTrash like Style Council and GB got like every single Gang of Four put out. We got a ton of shit. We won't have to buy anyone a single Christmas present.
I got a bunch of fabric for my wife. I got her a purse and some bracelets and bag of this cool type of fabric that's from India. She'll make something really cool out of it. We went to some shops with this chick GB used to go out with, but it was fucking lame. So fucking obvious she wants to get with him again, but my man just let that wave pass. She's half Indian half stupid bitch. She's from London and she has this accent that she totally uses on people to make them think she's important or exotic or some shit. She's just a stupid bitch. She wanted me to get lost, but I stayed found. Fuck that dumb ass. She asked me if I knew Miss Ennui and I said, yeah what about it? She's all interested to know what kind of a chick "snared" GB. Snared? I don't know about that. I told her he was tired of her pussy and he wanted to ride a fresh horse. Can't stop a man from that. She didn't think that shit was funny. Then she got all helpful and wanted to help us shop for the chicks. I knew something was up, but GB is all sure, whatever.
When we were in the shops she's asking us would Miss Ennui like this? Should I try it on for you? It was so fucking lame. Then GB is like, yeah try that shit on. So she's putting on all this shit and prancing around modeling and fucking GB starts taking pics of all this. Then he's like hey take a pic with my friend, you're so hot, you make me hard. So she starts hanging all over me and I wanted to break his jaw. He's laughing and taking pictures of this whole thing. We didn't buy anything and then finally we ditched her. When we got back to the hotel he uploaded the pics and sent them to the guy she's engaged to. What a fucking whore. She's supposed to marry this professor at NYU and she's whoring around trying to spread her legs for GB. I hope that fucker sees her for the fucking lame ass whore she is and dumps her on her ass.
I'm so fucking sick of fucked up chicks. I'm sick of people like my stupid weak pathetic mom, letting my da beat the shit out of her and then covering up for him and taking him back all the fucking time. I'm sick of people like my mother-in-law who think they have nothing to live for and throw it right in their kid's faces. I'm sick of people like GB's mom, who are so fucking frozen they have to emotionally torture other people just so they can feel something. I'm sick of people who are stupid, weak, pathetic, manipulative, evil, and useless. I'm sick of all of you fucked up worthless shitbags. I'm sick of all these stupid motherfucking Girls Gone Wild whores who think it's funny to flash their tits everywhere and get so fucking drunk they don't even know their own name, and then turn around and say that someone was abusing them. Sure. And it started with you abusing yourself.
Does anyone on this fucking planet have any shred of self-respect or dignity? Anyone? Anyone at all?
God I missed my wife when I was gone.
The Shadow knows 1:29 AM
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