April 26, 2006
As of this morning the new job is done. Done and done, kids. No mas tweaking. No mas additions. The template is set and it's been packaged and it's on it's way to the man.
I leave for New York next week. We'll swing down to Florida for a few days and then GB wants to hit DC on our way back. It's the jackass tour. I want to see some shows while we're there. I hope that fucking idiot ex of his doesn't come around. That chick was a fucking drag last time.
So Hank's got a little Jew Boy in him. S'cool. Someone should let that goofer Adam Sandler know he'll have to change his one hit wonder.
The plumbers are almost done and the electrical is coming along. Fucking LBC shut me down for permits. One of my asshole neighbors must've turned me in. Fuckers. It's cool. That Carey chick told me how to get around them and not stand in line. She knows people and that's a good thing. I should probably listen to her more often. Don't tell anyone I said that. It would be easier to listen to her if she didn't talk so fucking much.
The Shadow knows 11:08 AM
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April 20, 2006
I fired the plumber today. What a dick. I told that motherfucker I didn't want him using one piece of plastic on the job and he thought I was too dumb to notice that he was using it all over the job. Useless fucktard. I had to go ahead and call the guy that Carey chick recommended. I should've just let her handle the whole fucking in the first place.
I got a new account yesterday. This one'll be good. I've let some of the smaller accounts go to Dickie. This one will take me and some boys at least a week to turn around. Just in time, baby. Just in time to make that first mortgage payment.
My wife and Miss Ennui are jonesing to move in. That ain't gonna happen anytime soon. There's still plumbing, electrical, floors, walls, and finishing to do. Neither of them have any idea. Every time GB comes by the job he tells me I'm an idiot. It could be true.
I'm a busy boy and that's exactly how I like it. I'm leaving for Florida and New York, in two weeks. I gotta get over there before summer. I can't do New York in July. No one should have to.
Nothing insane has occurred for a while. Maybe the cloud over my life is lifting. Maybe it's just intermission before the big ass kicking. We'll see what happens. Either way, I don't give a shit. No matter what I'm still the same. I'm still me.
I think GB is going with me to New York. I hope his chick can handle that. If not, she'll have to deal.
The Shadow knows 3:52 PM
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April 18, 2006
Eliza Do Little woke me up this morning by calling and asking if I ever knew anyone who'd had an affair with their own father. That's one piece of fucked-up shit I was happy to say I'd never encountered. I know a lot of people who were raped and molested when they were kids because it's the All-American pastime, but having an all out affair? Nope, glad to report.
So we got the new roof on. The house is aligned, anchored, and bolted to the piers. Now they're reinforcing the foundation and then the electrical and plumbing can get started. My wife has ants in her pants to get in there and start painting and shit, but I haven't let her and the gang hang out unless I'm there. It's a fucking disaster area that house.
I'm getting a lot of work done on the new project. It's holding my interest. I've got a lot of accounts set up and I'm banking a buck or two. My parents are apart and my wife is happy and I'm starting to feel like life is kinda how it should be.
I know I'm gonna get knocked on my ass any minute. I know that a moment of happiness or even contentment must be bought with a pound of bleeding flesh that's been ripped from your body. I know that. I know it's coming. Fuck it. All we have is today, right? Well today's been okay. So was yesterday and the day before that. I'm not in New Orleans. I'm not in Afghanistan. I'm not in Iraq.
I'm okay, you're okay. How about that shit? Well, fuck you too.
The Shadow knows 12:48 AM
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April 13, 2006
My life lately: Get up and power down a protein shake. Check email. Delete the endless stream of shit inviting me to join Friendster and MySpace. Delete the endless stream of shit inviting me to try new features for websters. Sift through email to see if there's even one legit piece. Usually not. Check the phone. Sift through the messages to see if there's anything to which I should bother responding. Usually there isn't.
Take a piss and a shower. Get dressed. Call my wife. Sit down and get to work. Work, work, then work some more. My wife usually calls me after about 4 or 5 hours of work. I go out, grab some grub, run by the house. It's a disaster. I probably have to fire someone and deal with some asshole's unnecessary bullshit. Deal with it. Handle it. Make it right.
Go back to the cave. Work, work, and work some more. My wife will usually call around this time and ask me if I've eaten lately. I'll say no. Then she lectures me a little, or commands me to come and get her. I pick her up or she comes around. We eat together and then either go back to her place or the cave and spend quality time together. Sometimes she spends the night. I never do.
Every day is some variation of the above. Sometimes a monkey throws a wrench into the cog and it all fucks up. Today it was that my mom called to leave a long ass fucking message that my dad has been cheating on her and she's kicked his ass out for about the 100th time and she would like to see me and know that I'm okay.
This is the routine I have with my mom. She's a weakling. She knows it. She knows I can't stand it. This is her way of saying, Sorry I'm such a weak, pathetic bag of bones. Your dad did it to me again. I sent him away. Will you come by and be my friend so I can feel like at least I have my son who will always love me and take care of me when all else fails?
No. No, Ma'am. I will not. It's bullshit and it's pathetic and I don't have to watch this shit. I don't have to participate in her pathetic self-inflicted pain drama. No, thanks. Got a whole lotta bullshit of my own to keep me occupied.
I don't understand the woman. She's not bad looking for her age. She's got skills. She makes pretty good bank at her job. She's got her little circle of lady friends. What's her fucking problem? How come she can't ditch that sack of shit she married and go get herself a new dick to ride? And what the fuck does she want from me? Approval? Sympathy? Companionship? I don't know. She doesn't understand me. She doesn't understand one ounce of what I'm about. We're better off leaving each other alone. She's got problems. So do I. What the fuck of it?
The Shadow knows 1:51 PM
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April 10, 2006
I fired the roofers today. Fuck it. I don't give a shit if I have to hitch up there and tar that shit myself. It's gonna get done right or not at all and it has to get done because that back porch leak is like a fucking faucet.
I love being a homeowner.
But the good news is that the new project is humming along. I got money coming in, kids. It's all gonna be alright. Daddy's on the job.
Plus I made about $2700 selling my landlady's parking over the weekend. That'll all go to the roof. I fucking can't stand having to fix some other asshole's mistakes. Now I've got "deferred maintenance" up my ass. It's a joy and a privilege, motherfuckers. A fucking joy and a privilege.
The Shadow knows 9:22 PM
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April 03, 2006
I've been working my ass off on the new project. Those fucking idiots keep playing TAG with me and GB. There's a serious ass-kicking in the mail. It ain't here yet, kids. But don't cry, it's definitely in the mail. Just as soon as I find the time.
Every day I get up at the butt crack of noon and go check on the house. I hired this jack off to do the foundation and then I fired him the minute I saw his methfreak crew. I had to go ahead and hire the guy that Carey chick recommended. He needs to finish the alignment and then bolting the piers. Yes, I'm having my house aligned. How do you like that shit? It's kinda interesting the way they do it. When that shit's done, I'm having the copper plumbing put in. Then I'm rewiring the house with this guy I know.
After all that shit's done I'll let my wife start painting and Jimmie can come in and start laying the tile. After all that shit's done and done I'll let the floor guys come in and do their thing. That's if I don't have to have the fucking chimney rebuilt.
So where are all my housewarming gifts? I could use some gift cards to Home Depot or Lowes.
This fucking thing better pay off.
The Shadow knows 11:55 PM
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