February 24, 2006
So it turns out my wife's dream house is a decrepit old shack falling off it's foundations. The roof is shot. The foundation needs reinforcement. It's still juicing off the old knob and tube. The galvanized is totally corroded. But hey, fuck it. It's got built ins and old moldings and a basement and an attic and hardwood floors.
I don't know. I added up all the shit and after the work is done what I paid for it will still be way less than what I can sell it for. If the market holds. I don't know. Fuck it. I'm self-employed. I need to declare some losses. It's not like I have a choice. If I don't let her go through with this there won't be any living with my wife. Not like we live together now, and we sure as hell won't be once we own a house.
Ah, married life. Here I am buying a house for my wife that I won't be living in. I get to pay for it. I get to pay for it to be fixed. Then I get to sell it. If she'll let me. S'okay. The trick to being married is to never ever live together.
I'm fucked.
The Shadow knows 9:46 PM
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February 23, 2006
Everybody and their punk ass granny are on Ocean today to see the Queens. Big fucking deal. One of 'em is standing in cement, the other is brand spanking new. I saw a piece on the QM2. No comparison. The new one looks like every other fucking cruise ship in the world. The shit is built for fat ass middle America to ooh and ahh at all the fancy shit. The old Queen was built with style and totally kicked ass in WWII. The new one looks like an old bitch who's had too much plastic surgery. She's wearing too much gold jewelry and she's got too much perfume on and someone needs to tell she's too fat, too drunk, and too loud.
I have to go to a home inspection tomorrow. Should be interesting.
The Shadow knows 3:05 PM
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February 21, 2006
I just bought my wife a house.
I don't know what else to write.
Peace out.
The Shadow knows 1:51 PM
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February 20, 2006
I did Eliza's stupid fucking thing at school on Friday. It was lame.
My wife found a complete piece of shit house and decided she wants me to buy it for her so she can fix it up and live in it. I told her I'd rather take her to Paris tonight. She's not talking to me. Now I have to go tomorrow with that Carey chick to go see it. I'm not buying a house. Fuck that shit. I know exactly how that bullshit goes. The fucking ink wouldn't be dry on the papers before my wallet would be bleeding to death. Fuck that. I'll go see it, though.
I finished both jobs and now I have no gigs. Gotta gotta get some gigs, baby. I might be working with a guy on a simulation gig. That would be kind of cool. I haven't done anything quite like that before. So I should do it. Yeah, I think I'm gonna do that.
The Shadow knows 11:08 PM
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February 16, 2006
I have a bratty little sister. Her name is Eliza Lott. She calls me and asks me to do outrageous unbelievable shit for her without apology. She's unfuckingbelievable.
She called and asked if I would be a live display for her speech class. She wants me to stand up in class with her while she does a speech about men. Dance, trained monkey, dance! I told her no and to fuck off the first 4 times she called. By that time she'd called my wife and asked her permission to borrow me. What the fuck ever.
Mr. Steve said he would do it and he ditched her. I understand about V-Day. I know rejection like that busts chicks up. So now I have to clean up another one of Mr. Steve's messes. I have to take care of his shit again. I don't like this. It's bullshit and I really think Mr. Steve has an ass kicking on the way.
She doesn't know what she's started. She'll get way more than she's bargained for. I don't know what's going on in her crazy little head, but she's obviously bored and doesn't have enough drama in her life. I'll show up for class. She might get kicked out of school, but I'll go. And then that's the end of it.
I asked my wife if she was getting any money for my ass or if she'd pimped me for bones. She told me to get my ass over there and fuck her. So I'm gone.
The Shadow knows 8:45 PM
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February 14, 2006
Fuckin' A.
It's heartbreak holiday time. Valentine's Day is such a load of crap. I woke up this morning and found out we'd lost power all over the LBC. Fire in the power station. Everything was all nice and fucked up. I saw two accidents. There was a beautiful one where a junk truck blew straight through the intersection and t-boned a mini cooper. I couldn't decide if I should wait for the cops or bug out. I decided to bug. There were enough gawkers at that one. Then right before I got to my wife's building there was a huge four car and two rig. That one sucked. There were kids involved and shit. I had to stay for that one. It was all the jackass in the Jetta's fault. It was all on that fucktard. He swerved around the rig on the left. Dumb ass motherfucker.
So I haven't even seen my wife all day. This is our first VDay as a married couple. Is that special? I don't know. I just miss her. We haven't really had a minute alone lately. I'm always working. Always working. I can't stop taking gigs. I gotta get the job done. Now I'm at GB's waiting for him to finish his thing and then we'll head back downtown to pick up the chicks. We're taking them out to Lasher's. It should be cool. I had to cancel Little Miss Do because that motherfucking dickhead Mr. Steve dropped her like a hot potato. His wife hit town and suddenly he's happily married again. Fucking dick. I should kick his ass. I'm not 100% sure I can. Maybe if I was aggro enough and he was drunk and careless. He's pretty badass, I'll admit. I am too, but I'm not sure. Maybe we should go for it just to find out.
I wasn't sure about Little Miss Do and Mr. Steve. He seemed like he was on good behavior, but maybe it was just his Ted Bundy thing. No chick ever got in a car with old Teddy Boy because he looked like what he was. They all thought they knew what they were looking at. Surprise. Not saying Mr. Steve is the same as Teddy, but hey. He should get his ass kicked. It was a dickless thing to do. I called him on it, but he just said you gotta be cruel to be kind. He said he knew she was too good and too young for him and that sooner or later he would do something dickless and destroy her and he wanted to nip it in the bud. Nice.
She's home for the holiday all alone. Fuck it. Not my problem. As long as she's safe.
Happy fucking Valentine's Day motherfuckers. It's all bullshit but I'm participating anyway.
The Shadow knows 5:16 PM
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February 06, 2006
Fucking spent all day taking Miss Ennui to go see her stupid fucked up mother and then she didn't even go in. Chicks and their moms are all fucked. Except Little Miss Do and her hot mom. They're okay I think. Every other chick I know hate their moms. I don't give a shit. Can't stand mine myself. Kinda fucked though if you think about it. Which I don't.
Wasted a whole fucking day on that bullshit. She woke me up with the call and then I had to shit shower and shave. I got my ass over there and she wanted lunch before we did anything else. So we did that and then when I was paying the bill she fucking ditched me and ran into the shoe store. I told her that was bullshit but she wouldn't leave until she got these super hot heels. She kept walking back and forth in front of me checking herself out in the mirror. Finally I told the chick to wrap 'em up. I'll bill GB later.
Finally we got back in the truck and headed up to Beverly Hills to go see her dumb disfigured mom. We went to the hotel where the rich bitches recover from plastic surgery. She's in a special area. She might have to go to a burn ward. That's kind of rough. I really wanted to see her but we never did. When we got there this really mellow chick came out to talk to Miss Ennui. She took us into some office and started explaining what happened. Her mom had used some kind of cream on her face before the laser. She thought because it was all natural that it would be okay. So when the laser hit her face it reacted to the stuff and burned the shit out of her. The chick is the director of the recovery place. She told us all this shit and then she asked Miss Ennui if she had any questions. Nope. None at all. Miss Ennui just got up and walked out. The chick chased us down the hall and I shook her hand and all because she was hot and I don't like to be too rude to hot chicks.
We split out of there and I asked her if she wanted to go straight home or to hell. She said she wanted to go to hell. So I drove her to Venice and we had ice cream. I bought us coffees and parked in front of the house on Brooks. We sat there listening to Indie until she said she wanted to go home. That was around three so we sat in traffic.
It was a wonderful day. I'm so glad I went. I can't wait to go on another field trip with Miss Ennui. I fucking swear I'm invoicing GB for gas and food. And those fucking hooker heels.
The Shadow knows 10:35 PM
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February 05, 2006
Ah, yes. Sunday evening at home. Hanging out, watching Star Trek on mute, blogging. How good can life get? I've got two new gigs lined up. They'll be no big deal but both will pay pretty good. I had to dump a client on Dickie. The fucking idiot couldn't ever tell me what he wanted. He was so vague all the time. He kept saying shit like "flashy" and "stunning" and "totally unique". Okay, great. But what the fuck do you want? I showed him other jobs. I sampled for him. I had three fucking meetings with this jackass and he still can't tell me what he wants. He just throws adjectives at me. I'm done with him. Dickie can have him.
I'm taking my wife to Paris in June. We have to go their for a wedding anyway. We'll do the London Paris thing. That should make her happy for a while. Hopefully.
I'm tired. I've been cranking for almost a week straight. The job is winding down. That's a good thing. I need to get paid. I like getting paid. It makes me feel all giddy inside.
The Shadow knows 9:35 PM
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