November 28, 2005
Well Vegas was a bust. No Henry. We drove all the way out there and then ended up just eating and playing cards the whole time. It wasn't all that bad. Caitlin finally had her nervous breakdown and had to go to the ER for a chemical calm the fuck down.
We actually kinda tried to go see Henry but we didn't have it in us. We couldn't walk out on The Crew. So there it is. I guess I wouldn't do anything to see Henry.
I kicked ass in poker and 31. We just played straights, ace hi/lo. We played for candy and it got fairly vicious. Miss Ennui got her panties in a bunch because her smarties didn't count for much, so she started sabotaging everyone. I still kicked ass. My candy was kinder so everyone wanted to bet me just so I'd throw in.
It was a bust, but it was okay.
Home again. Back to work.
The Shadow knows 7:25 PM
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November 23, 2005
Muthafukkah! Man have I been a busy boy. I sold my monster. Can you believe that shit? I met this total kook. He's trying to be a hippie but really he's just a prep gone phishing. Dude listens to nothing but Phish and String Cheese Incident all fucking day. He just got back from Amsterdam and he's going to India after Christmas. He's just another fucking trust fundie. Ha! He's a trustafarian. He's trying to dread his hair and shit. What a fucking kook. He came by with Bardo to look at the monster and he got so excited about it I fucking sold it to him for $2500. Now I'll have some bank to start his new body.
I've been helping get this fucking party together for my wife. She's been sewing her head off with The Yugo and everyone's all freaking out. I don't know what the fuck they'll do with the zombie that's living with my doc. I don't know where Caitlin is. There's a zombie in her body now. She moves like a fembot.
Guess who's getting married? You guessed it. My fucking bitch in law and Douglas the dick. See? You should have bet when you had the chance. My wife went to see a lawyer GB's lawyer turned her on to. This chick says she can help her get her money away from Dougie and the monster in law. She said she'd do it pro bono but she might have to charge us for filing paperwork and shit like that. She's also going to apply to CalArts, Otis, Parsons, and some other fucking place in New York I never heard of. I want whatever she wants I guess.
If she goes will I follow?
The Shadow knows 1:46 AM
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November 17, 2005
Want to hear something funny? My mother went over to my fucking bitch in law's house looking for me. The two idiots met up and went to dinner together. My mother is "overcome with sadness" by our situation. She talked bullshit and religion to my fucking bitch in law, who talked recovery and self-discovery bullshit right back at her. I know all this because my mother left the longest fucking message in the history of technology on my voice mail today. That just cracks me the fuck up. They fucking deserve each other. I'd love my da and Dougie the dick to hang out together. That would be really fucking hilarious. You know what would be best? We should get Goth's parents and Miss Ennui's freakshow together with these four and just let them rip. They could all start a fucking support group. It would be so great. They could all wife swap and talk shit about their kids and drink themselves into stupors or until they fall right out of their chairs onto their fat fucking asses.
The Shadow knows 6:36 PM
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November 13, 2005
Happy Sunday motherfuckers. Here we have for your viewing pleasure the big secret silk screen project. Do you like it? I burned the edges and smeared the acrylics today. I'm digging it. I need to let it dry before I can start the next stage.
So let's start working on my monster. Need more monster parts. I got his head working real good. His growler sounds fierce. I'm giving up on his body. I'm starting all over again. I'll have to reconstruct him out of aluminum. That's a lot of Coke cans.
Tomorrow I'm taking Little Eliza to Santa's Village. She's doing some fucking thing where she interviews Santa Claus about the meaning of Christmas or some bullshit like that. She's a nutcase. Maybe I should try to find Rudolph the Red Nose for her, too.
My fucking bitch in law says she's suing us for damage to her home. I hope so. Let's get into court and make some official statements, folks. Let's trigger an audit on all that fucking money. Oh, yes! Let's! I ain't afraid of that stupid lush. My wife just rolled her eyes.
Money. It's good and evil, glue and scissors, life and death, heaven and hell, kisses and blows, love and hate, all rolled into one.
The Shadow knows 10:11 PM
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November 10, 2005
My fucking bitch in law is back from Africa. Who the fuck goes to Africa at this time of year anyway? Stupid bitches with too much money and time to waste, that's who. We all went out to dinner tonight. We went to the Shenandoah, which the fucking bitch didn't think was great enough for her big reunion with her daughter, but she let my wife pick the place so that's where we went. It was so wonderful. Me, my wife, my fucking bitch in law, and my old friend Douglas the dick. Boy how I wish that moment could have lasted forever. It warms my heart to know that old Douggie boy's just a ho. He asked me how the leg felt and if I missed the crutch of walking with a cane. What a fucker. I asked him how it was playing hide the salami with the old kootch and if she paid him in cash afterwards or he billed her in hours.
We sat down to it. The fucking bitch has a proposal for us. If we declare her mother of the year, and tell everyone what a wonderful person she is, she'll pay for my wife to go to any school she wants. Turns out the fucking bitch had so much fun fucking up my wife's life, she can't wait to do it to her two other kids. Those kids are fucked no matter what. It's the lesser of two evils there. They've got either their evil Republican Christian Right dad or the psyhotic suicidally selfish lush of a cunt mother. Maybe they should just auction those kids off on eBay.
You all would have been very proud of my wife. She told her mother and the dick to go fuck themselves all the way to hell in so many different ways, even the waiter was grooving on us. She told them she was heading off to work in a legal brothel in Nevada. That didn't impress them. So we started in about her "special" line of clothing for pre-teen prostitutes. We also racked up the bill, which isn't hard to do at the Shenandoah. All you have to do is start ordering wine. We drank plenty. The lush mentioned repeatedly how insensitive it was to drink in front of her. That may have been when we ordered the third bottle. The dick thought he was gonna be able to reason with us, but when in Rome, ya know?
We took a cab back to my wife's place. I told her she should help her old mom out. Can you imagine how much damage we could do in front of a judge or opposing counsel? That could be more solid gold family moments for damn sure.
I still have to go to physical therapy. I'm still getting my massage. My therapist gave me a soccer ball. I'm supposed to be practicing with it. The leg's still a little gimpy. I fell twice doing my soccer practice. Goth drew all over the ball to make it look like Wilson.
I'm keeping very busy. It's the way I prefer things. I'm keeping very busy because I feel like something's headed my way. I dream about Gio. I hear the engine of that fucking Expedition coming down the hill. I see Gio scrambling to get the fuck out of the way. I feel like that. If I'm quiet for a minute it's like I can hear that fucker coming for me. That stupid, inbred, hillbilly Big Mac eating, whore fucking, Fox 11 News watching, worthless sack of drunk shit is coming right for me and I'm in the middle of the road. Should I run this way or that way? Does it matter? Fuck it. I'll just stay busy. I'll just work through it.
Henry Rollins still thinks of Joe Cole every day, right? But see they were the best of friends. I hardly knew Gio. Maybe in ten, 15 years it'll wear off and I'll forget all about it. I'll forget seeing Gio fly through the air like a popped balloon. I'll forget all about that freaky wet crunching sound he made when he landed. I'll forget all about Brigid's screaming.
It's weird, though. Looking at people like my fucking bitch in law and Douglas the dick, people like that make me want to smash plates and wine bottles on their heads. I want to stab them in the eyes with forks and yell at them to wake the fuck up. I don't, though. I just sit there and make nonsense come out of my mouth.
They give pain away for free, people like that. I just don't want any more of it. I want to put them out of business, the pain merchants. My fucking bitch in law has so much of it, she has to have a pain broker. That must be where Douggie comes in. My poor wife. She was raised on the stuff. She needs to be weened off it. I don't know if I'm the man for the job. I was raised on a steady diet of violence and bullshit myself. We need something new. Something completely, totally different.
The Shadow knows 1:37 AM
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November 04, 2005
I got the cast off. That's right. I'm a free man once again. I didn't do my two-legged danced down Magnolia as promised. Instead I ended up dancing with my wife at Gio's wake. Yes, we danced. You got a problem with that? If so, fuck you.
Everyone's in pretty rough shape. Fuck it. What can be done? Nothing.
I finished the kiddie job. Now I'm working on a nice little job. It's for a spiritual center and it's also very different from anything I've ever done before. No chicks with dicks on this job.
My wife and I are cool for now. My fucking bitch in law is in Africa. She wrote my wife and said that when she returns she would like to talk at length about my wife's future. She just read it and then she got really stupid. She started jumping up and down and she said her name was Miss Ennui and she had a pet monster. Then she went to the stove and burned the card to ashes in the sink. It was just this side of creepy.
The Shadow knows 6:59 PM
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