August 30, 2005
This just in from Miss Eliza Dolittle:
Shag,
Please delete the archives. He's obviously not going to write you and ask you himself. He thinks he's being a big man and this is all still bothering him. You have the power to stop all this craziness. You are all powerful, Lord Shag of the Willmore Ghetto. Please, Lord Shag, delete the archives and let the nonsense come to an end.
Eliza
Note: forwarded message attached.
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Date:
Mon, 29 Aug 2005 04:26:26 -0700 (PDT)
From:
"Tom Luffman"
Subject:
Re: Thanks for the apology
To:
"Guess Who"
CC:
eliza_lott@yahoo.com
Plain Text Attachment [ Download File Save to Yahoo! Briefcase ] I wanted to copy you both on this email since you'll
discuss this anyways- there is no reason to send
separate ones...
Eliza:
This is why I wasn't keen on asking to have the
archives removed. You can read the response below.
This crowd you run with is bad. You seem like a nice
person and I know you meant well but this is what
happens when a reasonable request meets an
unreasonable person.
Nini:
You started the whole thing so it's not all the jerk's
fault that you turned this blog over to- you shoulder
some blame as well.
Both of you:
The only thing I ever did wrong was send a book late.
The person paid for the book and received the book. I
have been the bigger person and apologized and yet my
name is still on your crowds lips. I have no idea
what you people get out of this- and I have no idea
how you can justify the words spoken against me. I
simply mailed a book late. Hell, I've been totally
ripped off via ebay and I never started a hate site
about it. It's confusing because you Nini seem to be
smart and I'd be willing to bet you have a life- I'm
not sure why anyone would waste their time writing in
a blog for over a year about a guy they do not know.
It's bizarre.
Eliza: I hope you find a good crowd of people to hang
out with who will appreciate your sweet nature and not
write bitchy blogs about it.
Nini: I hope you do the right thing by yourself. I
sense that you are a better person than to allow this
to continue. The blog and the archives really speak
more about the author than the subject. By leaving
the archive up you are doing a disservice to yourself-
perhaps you are even doing more of a disservice to
yourself than me.
Both: I didn't expect the request to be fulfilled but
I was hopeful that I would have gotten a more mature
response.
You kids have a good life-
Tom
*****
August 17, 2005
OPEN LETTER TO THE FUCKHEAD FROM COLUMBUS, OHIO:
Yes, Thomas Luffman, Jr. I am talking to you.
Do not send little girls with messages to me. If you
have something to say, take off the Pampers and write
me. You know how to reach me, you've written before. I
don't know why you've got your shorts in knots about
the archives and I don't give a fuck. I didn't write
that shit and it's not even really about you and even
if it was, you have made yourself a public figure and
you've left yourself open to criticism by posting in
public forums. What kind of man would shit all over
someone like the girl you used to give me a message,
and then try to hurt her by trying to start shit
between her and her friends? You're pathetic. I don't
have time for you and your bullshit games. If you want
to talk about this archives shit, you fucking write me
and present your fucking case to me, fucktard. You
write me and let me know why I should have to waste
even 1 minute of my time on you and your fucked up
shit. Don't send little girls to do your talking for
you, fucktard.
The Shadow knows 10:27 PM
--- Guess Who <http://us.f540.mail.yahoo.com/ym/Compose?To=engabenga@yahoo.com&YY=37638&order=down&sort=date&pos=0&view=a&head=b> wrote:
> It was big of you, but franky we're all over it. We
> understand that you are interested in reading what
> emails we have left about you, but it's not gonna
> happen. We looked up some of the people who wrote
> them
> and they seem to be real people, except Sugar Sherry
> Robinson who is more than a little suspect. We are
> not
> going to violate their privacy or start a brand new
> shitstorm.
>
> We will talk to the guy who took over the blog when
> he
> gets back and we'll ask him to delete the archive so
> that no one can read what you think is all about
> you.
>
> After that, if you still want to bang this drum so
> that you can hear your own name, feel free.
>
> Nini
>
> __________________________________________________
> Do You Yahoo!?
> Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam
> protection around
> http://mail.yahoo.com/
>
__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
http://mail.yahoo.com
Sorry about duping my post to the fuckhead, but I don't edit when I broadcast. Wow. What a fucking loser. Miss Eliza called this morning and asked me to put a stop to the madness. I thought the madness had stopped. I've never received anything from the fuckhead asking me to delete the archives. I don't think he really wants me to. He talks in circles. I think he was an abused child. Maybe he just wanted to be. Who gives a flying fuck?
Should I or shouldn't I? On the one hand it's kind of funny that he's in such a tizzie about the whole thing. But on the other hand, is he really? Fuck him anyway. The only reason I haven't deleted the archives is the shit he wrote about my wife. He keeps pretending that some hater here in LA did it just to put a big frame around him. I was waiting for an apology, but Patty said she didn't give a shit what he wrote because he doesn't matter. It's true. Nothing he does or says matters because he doesn't matter. Maybe I should broadcast everything? Just for our special audience in Ohio? You know he's my number one fan, checking the blog like it's a free porn site.
It seems I've got a lot to think about. I'll let you know how it all turns out.
The Shadow knows 12:21 PM
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August 28, 2005
We're back. Went to a movie in a graveyard last night. Very cool. The movie was lame, but we had fun. Work is back to it's normal frenzy. My wife is making dresses with the Yugo. I've got the AC cranking in here and the guys are slaminng code. I think we might be able to pull this job off in another two weeks. Then I'm going somewhere cold. Like Greenland or Antarctica. I'll take the whole team and my wife. We'll just go and chill, for real.
I saw some interesting shit while we were underground. I met a guy with a robotic hand. He got his hand chopped off by a methfreak when he was working at a taqueria. The freak came in and tried to rob the place and tripped over a mop and dropped the gun and then went nuts. He suckerpunched the manager and then jumped on the guy's face and broke his jaw and face bones and then he grabbed the butcher knife and started waving it around. The guy who I met came in from behind him and the freak spun around and cut his chest and his arm and then grabbed him and chopped off his hand. Then the busboy picked up the gun and shot the freak in the chest and head. He didn't die right away so the busboy kicked him until he did. They put the guy's hand in a bucket of ice and wrapped his wrist in towels and ice until they all got to the hospital. But the doctors couldn't put his hand back on. So now he's got this cool robotic hand that has subdermal wiring and he can open and close his bot hand by flexing the muscles in his arm. It's pretty fucking cool. I'm actually kind of jealous.
The other cool thing we saw was Klein's spinner. He made a bot like Rosie from the Jetsons, but his spins around kind of like those flower bugs from Disneyland. He's got some nice sheeting on her outsides and she's super smooth and quiet. He wants to program her to go into those elevator lifts for people in wheelchairs so they can get upstairs. That would be way fucking cool. We had a good time underground. I'm getting ants in my shorts about getting my monster up and screaming. I've got to get him done.
The Shadow knows 2:45 PM
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August 26, 2005
It's Friday. I'm taking the day off. So's the team. Do not come by the cave. Do not try to find us at the hole or the dive or the club. We are underground and we are not coming up until early Monday morning. Like 3 or 4 in the morning. Don't call crying because you can't find us. We'll come up for air, but don't hold your breath.
The Shadow knows 4:44 PM
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August 23, 2005
Work is kicking my ass, but I like it. Miss Ennui finally came and got the last of her shit out of here. The team has all gone home, back to their own little caves, back to hot meals and xbox. I am here alone and the junkyard is eerily quiet. I'm listening for the sound of my wife's car. I know the sound of her wheels. She's bringing me some ghetto mex and we're having a night off with ourselves. Happily married.
She's not going back to school this semester. She wants to get her head together. I know what she really wants. She wants in Otis or Parsons. She should have it. Who am I to stop her. Who is anyone to tell her no? She's working on her dresses and her business and her head. She quit the shrink and she threw her cell phone off the gateway bridge the other night. We took the SIM card out first. I told her I'd get a new phone today but she doesn't want one. She doesn't want anyone calling her or bugging her for now. That'll last a day. How the fuck is she gonna run a business without a phone?
Things are going a little too well. I don't like it. Something's gonna pop soon, I can feel it.
I've been going to my physical therapy every other day pretty much. It hurts llike a motherfucker but I always get a nice massage afterward. Those fuckers have me drooling like Pavlov's dumb dogs.
I'm into what's going in the Eastside. I like what I'm hearing lately at Alex's. There's a lot of good local shit going on lately. Have you heard?
The Shadow knows 10:04 PM
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August 20, 2005
Douglas the dick kicked everyone out of my mother in law's house. What a fucker. I helped move Miss Ennui and my wife's stuff over to their new pad. It's a fucking dumpster. It's this huge building that's getting remodeled so it's like this big construction site and the people who run the building are in a fight with the construction company so nothing's done.
No shit. The hallways are only halfway drywalled and then halfway insulated. There's only subflooring everywhere. Half of the patios and balconies are blackwrapped for stucco and half are still wood frame. There's drapes and scaffolding on the whole outside of the building. It looks like a derelict. But fuck it. They have two bedrooms and two bathrooms with air-conditioning, a fireplace, and parking. And they only have to pay the utilities and dues, so they'll both be living there for less than $600 a month all together. Not bad.
The good thing is that my wife was smart and never had her mail delivered at her mom's place. She still has her box on 2nd street. The utilities are still in the owner's name so basically, Dougie boy won't be able to find her. He was there when I was moving out the last of the stuff this morning and he was all frustrated. He asked me where everyone was going and I said to hell, eventually. Then he just looks at me and says can't you ever be serious even for a minute? And I told him I was serious. Then I gave him the address I give people who fuck with me. I got it from that Carey chick. It's a vacant lot downtown they bulldozed last summer. What a dickhead. I hope my mother in law is nice and upset when she comes out of hiding.
The big job is going smooth. I'm expecting some dips and curves up ahead. That's how smooth it's going. Dickie and Sleeves are suprising the fuck out of me. It's unbelievable. I tell them to do shit and they do it. And they don't bitch about it, or fuck it up, or call me 18,000 times to ask me how to do it. I'm amazed.
The Shadow knows 4:06 PM
____________________________
August 17, 2005
OPEN LETTER TO THE FUCKHEAD FROM COLUMBUS, OHIO:
Yes, Thomas Luffman, Jr. I am talking to you.
Do not send little girls with messages to me. If you have something to say, take off the Pampers and write me. You know how to reach me, you've written before. I don't know why you've got your shorts in knots about the archives and I don't give a fuck. I didn't write that shit and it's not even really about you and even if it was, you have made yourself a public figure and you've left yourself open to criticism by posting in public forums. What kind of man would shit all over someone like the girl you used to give me a message, and then try to hurt her by trying to start shit between her and her friends? You're pathetic. I don't have time for you and your bullshit games. If you want to talk about this archives shit, you fucking write me and present your fucking case to me, fucktard. You write me and let me know why I should have to waste even 1 minute of my time on you and your fucked up shit. Don't send little girls to do your talking for you, fucktard.
The Shadow knows 10:27 PM
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August 14, 2005
I've been getting nonstop calls from my best friend in the world, Douglas the dick. He keeps calling my cell phone and he's emailed me several times. I'm wondering why he hasn't stopped by. I'm guessing it's because my chick, excuse me, my wife never wrote my studio adress down anywhere that he could find it. I know for goddam sure she never gave him my cell phone number or email. What a fucker. Maybe Dougie's been reading the blog? Hello, Dougie Boy. Is that you? How the fuck are ya, man? I doubt it. I doubt he could even find it.
I had to drive all the way up to West Hollywood today to help miss Eliza Dolittle unload her boss's garage and warehouse. She had a ton of shit in there. Sleeves took off with a computer and a server. I was able to get a ton of colors and frames and I think I got the right kind of projector for the silk screen thing.
On the way back, Eliza started this whole thing about her crazy theories of truth and lies. For instance, she claims that if someone really believes something is true, then they aren't lying. They're just being picked on by everyone else who doesn't believe the same as they do. Like it's a religious thing. I had to turn her off after a while because I think she was just really talking about her thing with Sleeves and I really don't want any part of it. They just need to fuck and get it over with. Everything will be fine after they get it on.
I'm a busy motherfucker these days. I've got shit I have to get done. This is how I like it. I like when I'm so busy I couldn't give a shit what's going on anywhere else. I want this job done so I can get paid and get my monster up and roaring again. I need to finish the silks. The images are slipping from my mind and I dont like that. I want them fresh and raw and stinky.
The Shadow knows 10:44 PM
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August 12, 2005
Working on the biggest job I've ever done. This thing is massive. It's over 4600 pages. We're doing the design, the content arrangement, the ecommerce, the whole fucking thing. I'm stoked.
I'm also married. No difference between before and after. We're waiting for Douglas to figure it out and shit his pants. That's when his shit will hit the fan.
Work is good. Work will always be there. Work is what balances you so you can walk the tightrope of life.
I went to my physical therapy this morning. It hurt like a motherfucker. I always get a massage afterward though. Pain before pleasure.
I don't have anything brilliant to blog. Thanks for stopping by. I'll let you know if anything fun happens.
The Shadow knows 7:22 PM
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August 07, 2005
I am in love with Patty. I want to marry her and have sex with only her for the rest of my pathetic life. I have the greatest chick in the universe.
Douglas the dick ran my records and brought over a complete file on me to my chick. What a dirty motherfucker. He had my arrest record, which is kind of funny when it's narrated by the star himself. He had my credit report, which is even funnier because it doesn't say shit about my real financial picture. He had all my school records which matter for jack shit. I'm surprised he didn't have my medical records or my CIA files about when the aliens abducted me and tried to make me have babies with Zithgar from the Planet Kissmyass in the Fuck You nebula.
Miss Ennui called me and told me to get my fucking ass over there immediately. Normally I would have words with her bossy attitude, but because she mentioned Douglas and the fucking me up my ass thing, I decided to just go.
Douglas was gone when I got there. I saw all the paperwork on the coffee table. We all sat down and we read through it. Then my chick got up and threw it in a big pot and set it on fire. And that was that. What a motherfucker Douglas is. I don't know why he's so freaked out by me. What threat am I to him exactly? Fuck him. He's such a tool.
He thinks he can fuck me by telling her shit about me? What does she not know? Did he really think I would have lied to her about anything? I got nothing to hide. What a fucking coward. She knows all about my sordid past. It's so scandalous. All the times I've been arrested for drunk and disorderly or assault. Who hasn't? My credit report was fucking hilarious. What the fuck does that matter anyway? What a fucking retard. He thinks I'm some kind of dick who fucks around on her or beats her or something classy like that. He thinks I'm like him, probably. She knows everything. If you don't drop your drawers and let your chick see the real you then you'll never know who she's really in love with.
I know. She loves me and Dougie just did me a big favor by proving it. What a dumb motherfucker he is.
She said he came over to warn her about my moral character and tell her that she deserved better and that he was bothered by her choices and apparent lack of stability in decision making. What's Dougie boy up to? Is he trying to have her declared incompetent too? I'll bet he is so then he could probably control her money, too.
What a motherfucker. He's fucking hilarious. Miss Ennui thinks I'm the one who stole his license plates. I wish I had. I hope some ghetto rats are driving a broke down piece of shit and running reds with his plates on right now.
See now I'm gonna have to kick his ass. I won't actually put my foot up his ass, but I'm gonna have to fuck with him. I think I know just how to do it, too.
The Shadow knows 6:02 PM
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August 06, 2005
I was driving back to my place after getting coffee with my chick and people at The Library and I saw my dad walking down Magnolia. He was looking around for something, probably me. I turned down Cowles and let him go fuck himself. I went up to my chick's place and watched her sew a wedding dress for a while. The my second favorite person in the whole world, besides my dad, Douglas the dick came over. Just came over. For no other reason in the world except to check up on us "kids" and make sure I wasn't raiding the fridge. I wasn't, but as soon as he said it I went in there and made a huge sandwich. I left all the shit out, too.
Than Goth Boy and Miss Ennui came back. Goth told me little Eliza was all upset because some people on a Rollins board were assholes to her. He said she was crying because they called her a stalker. Goth and Miss Ennui had some conversation with her and now I need to call her. I hope they haven't got her balls in an uproar because I still need the prints from her and I have to get her frames and colors before her internship ends and she goes back to school.
What a bunch of fuckos those freaks are. I don't know why she joined that shit. I need to find out if she's still talking to Sleeves. I might need him to be my little bitch on this job. Miss Ennui is screaming at me as I write this about the mess I left in the kitchen. She's right. I don't have any respect. Yes, I do think all women are put on the Earth to clean up after me. No, I don't live like a pig in my own cave. I just do it to piss other people off. Yes, I do plan on sitting on my retard ass all fucking day blogging. No, I am not listening to her screaming freakshow.
The Shadow knows 2:42 PM
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August 04, 2005
I ran into an ex of mine at Costco yesterday. She started laughing at my gimp. What the fuck happened to you? She's such a bitch. I told her I got jumped by three guys and a pipe snoot. Then she got all concerned. Oh my god. Will you ever be normal? We all know the answer to that. Never was, never will be. Fine by me.
I got my team together. I thought Dickie was gonna fucking pass out when I told him I needed him on my team. I've got the designs all mapped. I hooked up with a guy last night who does background design for cell phone games. I didn't realize it was a booming stream. Anyway, he's got some bad ass designs. He's got nothing after he closes this gig he's on. If I like him I'll let him on. I gotta check him out first.
I went to physical therapy this morning. We didn't do shit. The guy watched me walk back and forth across the room and then up and down these stairs that go nowhere. It was lame. When I was done doing that and feeling like an idiot he asked me a thousand questions about my back, neck, and shoulders. Then he gave me a massage. It was so good I fell asleep.
Now I'm home and I'm working on the design. It kills. It goes into to stealth mode, lays in wait, and kills like an assassin.
The Shadow knows 1:05 PM
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