ShagmoorLounge

June 12, 2005

Got a new truck finally. How hard is it not to get fucked in the ass by a car dealer? You know who was great? The chicks. It was so fucking easy when we brought them along. I swear to God I was ready to rip one salesguy's head off so I could beat the other to death with it.

Here's the shit we had to go through just to buy a truck. Plus, I was paying cash.

Sales Asswipe: Hello, what can I show you gentlemen this evening.
Me: I'm looking to buy a Toyota Tacoma, all black, with moonroof, a/c, standard interior and options.
SA: Tacoma? You boys look like Tundra guys to me. Let me show you my selection.
Me: No thanks. I'm looking to buy a Tacoma, all black, with moonroof, a/c, standard interior and options.
SA: Well it sure sounds like you know what you want. You boys look like Xrunner guys to me. Let me show you my selection.
Me: No thanks. I'm looking to buy a Tacoma, all black, with moonroof, a/c, standard interior and options.

The sales asswipe tried to sell me the double cab, the access cab, the extra long bed, pretty much everything except what I fucking asked for. So we finally split with the fucking dumbass chasing us out the door. We went to another dealer and went through the same bullshit until Goth Boy asked for someone who speaks english. Here's how that went:

Goth Boy: Hey, you got anybody here who understands english?
Sales Asswipe: What do you mean?
GB: (speaking really slowly like he was talking to a cretin. Which he was.)
Bring us someone who understands english. We are speaking english. You are not understanding us.

Unpleasant words were exchanged. A heated argument ensued. It escalated into a screaming match the height of which was when Goth Boy stood on Sales Asswipes desk and yelled "The customer is always right! Give the customer what he wants! Do not insult the customer by upselling unwanted upgrades! You have lost the customer! You will not make your quota! You will not get your bonus! You will not get your ass kissed or your dick sucked! You are a failure! You are a car salesman!"

Everyone was kind of stunned. Goth just jumped down from the desk and we walked out. The chicks called and bitched us out for taking so fucking long. We told them we were gonna try one more place. We stopped and ate at the nine virgins. We got to the dealership and the chicks were already there.

They were sitting there with the lady from fleet sales and when we walked in my chick jumps up and says to the lady "This is my boyfriend". The lady comes over to me and says hello, I've heard all about you. We sat down and she says so I hear you need a standard black Tacoma with a moonroof and a/c. I say yes, and I don't want any other shit. She just said no problem and starts looking in her computer. She had one but it was at another dealership and could be there the next day. Goth Boy asked what dealership is was coming from and it was at the first fucking place we went. So we wrote it up and I paid the money and I came back this morning and I got exactly what I asked for, nothing less nothing more.

Next time I buy transport it's gonna be from a chick in fleet sales. I put the alarm and sound systems in this morning. Today I had three guys come over to look at the old truck. They all lowballed me. I thought I priced it fair, but I'm gonna boost the price since everyone's lowballing.

The Shadow knows 2:13 PM
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