May 31, 2005
I was supposed to work on my monster all day today but life got in the way. Instead I helped Goth move all his chick's shit into my place. I called my clients back early this morning before I had to be a mover and a shaker. One of them was calling to give me another client. The other was calling because he thinks his girlfriend is cheating on him and he wants me to bug her. He's already got a wife that I bugged for him. What's next? His daughter? Shit in a few years I'll bug her for myself. I don't really want to do it. I don't have to have the money right now. I think I'll hand him off to little Dickie. He needs the work and that kind of shit is right up his alley.
I have to start planning a trip to Paris. My chick is only out of school for a few weeks this summer. Fucking Goth. Why'd he have to take his chick and get her all excited? Now my chick will never be okay until she goes too. My dad left a couple of really nice messages on my cellmail. They were really sweet and they made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. My mom called me too. She wants me to come to family counseling with them and the priest. Like that's really gonna fucking happen. Me sitting down with the King and the Queen? Fuck 'em.
The Shadow knows 11:34 PM
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May 28, 2005
My monster lives! We took his back legs off this morning and started his ass up. He roars! He flashes his demon eyes. He crawled on his front two legs about 4 feet before he fell over. I think his paws are big enough to stabilize him but obviously his back legs are still too heavy. What's a God to do? We have to reconfigure his body. That's the problem. This chick I know who's a real estate person gave me the number of a structural engineer. Plus she knows a guy who does animatronics and shit. I don't want to go to any of the robotics people I know because they'll just come over to rip me off because they're all just a bunch of fucking idea thieves.
His wiring is good. His brain is good. He's just too fucking fat. I should have used a fucking aluminum car hood instead of steel. I'll have to put his fat ass on a diet. Fuck. I'll have to stip him down and put him in an aluminum frame. My fucking instructor was right. I was wrong. There I said it. Happy now? Fuck you.
Okay, I'll strip him down and put him in an aluminum frame. Then I'll rebuild his steel frame and have him as a stationary monument of my genius. I'll leave his eyes and growler in. I'll hook his ass up to my security system. That should scare the shit out of any fucks.
Fuck. I hate starting over.
The Shadow knows 2:36 PM
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May 27, 2005
So it's Friday and I'm supposed to take my chick to this thing tomorrow and a birthday party thing on Sunday. I really just want to stay home and work on my monster. I think Bardo and I'll be able to get some shit done if we can both just sit in the same room at the same time and storm it out. But I can't tell my chick to fuck off.
I'm a lazy motherfucker. I don't want to work. I've got two clients who are calling me every other day and I'm not returning their calls because I don't give a fuck. I just got paid bank and I'm done. I could be done for the rest of the year if I feel like it. That would be stupid. I should call them back and see what they want. Maybe the jobs are small. Doubtful. I'll just be lazy for the weekend I guess.
I want to go to Mexico. I want to take my chick to Italy. She wants to go to Paris ever since her friend and my friend went. I think London is fireballs cool. I like Italy better. Except that everything goes wrong there. It's a really cool place because Rome is so old and there's the coast and these old ruins in Tuscany and Paestum and Pompeii and shit. Italy's actually really fucking cool except that everyfuckingthing goes wrong there. Luggage gets lost. Papers are wrong. Reservations are expired even though they've been confirmed the fucking day before. I want to go back to the creepatorium in Sicily. They have this little dead girl who's all preserved like Lenin.
But if she wants to go to Paris I'll take her. I just want to rest up first. I'm sick of airports and planes and people.
The Shadow knows 12:11 PM
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May 22, 2005
Just got back from Florida. I will never go there again. It sucks. Jeb Bush sucks. The weather is supposed to all terrific and all but it's no better than in the LBC. It's Pride day. I didn't realize. I wish my monster was ready to roar. That would kick some primo ass.
My chick is ignoring me. She's at Pride with Miss Ennui selling the T-shirts and hats they made. They made all kinds of stupid stuff and my chick sewed all these funny hats. I'm supposed to bring them some hotdogs and lemon ade when I get over there. We'll watch everything from Goth's condo. He lives in the Villa and his view is on the city side.
Porn pays, baby. We set up a huge gig in a warehouse. It's supposed to be a "school" for bad girls. They have these sets of a prison, a school, a jungle, a playground with a pool and jacuzi, a hospital, the oral office, a kitchen, a huge bathroom, and a little girl's bedroom. That was kind of weird. Anyway, we put eyes and ears all over the place. The chicks are supposed to make appointments online with all these freaks and then do a little show for them. So like these guys order what they want to see, like who do what in what setting, and then they're credit card gets charged and the chicks go in there and put on a show.
Some fat fuck runs the whole thing. Goth is all I need to see ID on all your girls before I'm making this system live. Fat fuck is all you do what I tell you. Goth is like I've put traps all over this whole job. Go ahead and start over with someone else if you want and just wait to go dark in the middle of your production. Then fat fuck starts all this shit with you'll never work in this town again, like we give a shit. He said he knew people and we could just "disappear". Ooooh, scary. Like we haven't done mob jobs before. Finally everyone calmed down and we got the job done and got paid and got out of there. He had ID on all the chicks, but that doesn't mean shit. Goth just wanted to be able to say he checked for ID. We got bank, baby. Bank!
Then his fucking dad calls and says he's in Miami and wants to see us for drinks and shit. Whatever. We showed up at some fucking Navy hellhole just so I could sit there and listen to his dad tell him he's a stupid worthless sack of shit a hundred million times. It was like dinner with my dad. We pretended we were gay lovers the whole time. I hope it gives that dick a stroke. When we went to pay Goth is all oh, dad it's been such a pleasure. This is on me. And he pulls out this huge wad of cash and his dad freaks out and starts going on about dealing drugs. We laughed in his stupid face and told him we were making money in gay porn. He's all say it ain't so, son. So we said it was a lie. We were making a killing escorting illegal aliens across the border and setting them up in sweat shops in Downtown LA. I don't know which he thought was more immoral. What a dumb fucker. I feel sorry for my bud. He returns the favor.
It's my turn to go support my chick. I'll bring them some hotdogs and lemon ade if that's what they want.
The Shadow knows 4:30 PM
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May 15, 2005
Florida sucks. This gig sucks. Miami Dade PD suck. South Beach sucks. Did I forget anything? Oh, yeah. Goth Boy's Dad fucking sucks.
The Shadow knows 7:23 PM
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May 12, 2005
I have to go to Florida with my friend. Porn is profitable. He needs help on the platform and the server sends. Big money, jojo. Is there a punk scene in Miami? Is there any scene besides the bikini scene?
My monster has a twitch. He keeps burning out his mini board. I think his legs may be too heavy for him to walk right. What a pain in the ass.
Speaking of pains in the ass, my dad's in jail again. He was driving drunk and crashed into some lady and her kids. I hope they throw the book at him. They called me to come pick him up from the slammer but I said I was in Florida. What's a dad to do? I told them to call my mom and gave them her number. That ought to shut them both the fuck up for a while. Did you know my parents are still married? Yup. Il Popo says they can't get a divorce and still go to heaven. So until death do they part, and they both are waiting for the other to die. Joke's on them. No fucking way either one's getting into heaven anyway. First of all there isn't a heaven or a hell. Second, even if there was, there would be standing reservations for them in the hot place. I know this. I am their son.
The Shadow knows 10:42 AM
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May 07, 2005
Went to a Cinco de Mayo party on Thursday. The house caught on fire. W split before the cops showed up. I hope everyone got out. Me and my pal ran upstairs and tried to make sure everyone was out. We didn't see anyone and we all split.
Then last night when we were at the gig some asshole started talking shit and calling us pyros and stuff. Don't worry. We didn't kick his ass. We left and went to get pie. When we got to Polly's the chicks were all like what was that all about. It was a bunch of bullshit. We drove by the house that caught on fire and it looked like a black shadow.
Then this morning I find out that some asshole at the party did set fire to the house. I thought it was an accident because the chick had a lot of candles and stuff going on but apparently some moron set the shower curtain on fire in the bathroom. This guy I ran into said the Firebugs founds an accelerant so they're considering it suspicious. I'll tell you what's suspicious is I've been to three parties at that chick's house now and I don't think her dad's ever coming back from Hawaii. Maybe he will now that his house burned down. It should be interesting.
So tonight we went to go see the Enron documentary. What a bunch of motherfucking dicks. All those fuckers should have their dicks cut off and be forced to live in caves shackled to the wall. The traders who were talking shit like frat fags when all of California was on it's knees should have their kneecaps broken. What a bunch of "God-fearing, Republican, outstanding American citizens". Seeing that movie makes me want to pull Dubya's ears off and force him to eat them. It makes me want to kick Arnie baby right in the teeth. Every one of those evil greedy motherfuckers should have to stand up naked in the middle of the Nasdaq and confess all their sins on public television. Every fucking last one of them. All the motherfuckers at the accounting place, the law firm, the banks, all those fuck traders, all of them. I would like to see that fucker Ken Lay apologize to the families of the people who died because of his greed. I want to see that Skilling fucker walk through a gauntlet of the employees he fucked over. How about this? How about that Fastow fucker and his buddies Lay and Skilling return all the fucking money they stole? And I want that motherfucker who took off to Colorado with his stripper wife, too.
The Shadow knows 11:46 PM
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