ShagmoorLounge

March 26, 2005

Stupid goddam motherfucking idiots at the airport lost my bag. Fucking idiot moron retards are supposed to call me when they find it. Fuck I hate London. It's cold here. I have to cab all the way down to Camden to get a decent meal. I fucking hate it here. Edwin better get his ass over here right fucking now. I don't give a shit what time it is.

I am so goddam hungry right now. There's a place I was at last time and I can't remember where fuck it is now. This place had these buns that were so good. They were full of butter and the coffee was so good and I can taste it in my mouth but I can't remember where the fuck it is or the exact name of it and the stupid bitch at information can't understand me and asks me if I'm American. I didn't want to give her the satisfaction because she can't help me so I said I was Canandian. Blame Canada. Fucking Edwin better be on his way over right now. I swear to Jesus if he's not here by the time I finish this post I'm going over to his crib and busting down his door. I'm waking up his stupid Russian wife who refuses to work and his dumb baby that cries all fucking day.

I need to sleep. I tried to sleep on the plane but this fucking moron idiot bitch insisted on trying to tell me her entire life story and how she felt so sorry for me that I would be away for Easter and then she wanted to know all about my family. I knew she wouldn't shut the fuck up unless I totally insulted her so I said that I was raised in a cult until my mom tried to leave and my dad shot her in the face. I told her that my sister and I escaped and wandered around in the desert until we were picked up by authorities for vagrancy and then we both ended up in foster care. She called me a poor dear until I finished my little tale. I told her my sister was now one of the most famous porn stars ever and that I was well on my way to being the premier game developer in the world. I told her my newest game on the horizon is called Cannibal and was based on different cannibalistic episodes in the history of mankind. The Amazonian tribes of the Emerald Forest, The Donner Party, The Soccer Team in the Andes. The trick to winning the game is to eat as much human flesh as possible, but that it was quality not quantity. I mean if you eat just a bunch of kids, hey that's a treat and a great source of proteins. But just consider what you gain by eating someone really special. For instance, Albert Einstein. In my game, if one were to eat old Al, well hey. You just became a genius. What if you eat Donald Trump? Bill Gates? The Pope? Strategy is the key. The stupid kind-hearted well-meaning simple-minded bitch just said "how nice for you, dear" and then she finally turned her back to me and I got 2 hours sleep.

The phone's ringing. That fucking better be Edwin or the clerk telling me he's on his way up.

The Shadow knows 8:05 PM
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