March 31, 2005
There are no trash cans in England anymore. I walked all fucking over Hyde and Sloane with Edwin listening to his shit about the fucking Labour and Tories and Blair and Iraq and all kinds of poll tax shit that I couldn't fucking care any less about. According to Ed, the Brits had to 86 all the trash cans because they were being used for terrorist activities. Those sly terrorists. The Brits are too hip to fall for an unattended bag or an orange BMW these days. The terrorists were dropping their TNT loads off in the trash so little children and other innocents could get a nice blast right in the kisser. Well, bugger that. There you are, then.
I have to get the fuck out of this country. I fucking can't stand these idiots with their bad food and bad teeth and bad taste. Although I did make Edwin go looking for vinyl with me. We had to wait until 11 before the shops would open but I found some really random shit. I found some ancient Girl School and Costello for my girl. I picked up some really old Gang of Four and King Crimson and German version Ramones. I'll go back tomorrow and check out the Funk and Country sections. We had to take off because Eddie had to take the wife and kid to some housing appointment. Eddie's woman is on the dole. She gets free housing and all kinds of free shit because this is an overly civilized socialist nation. Eddie, of course, won't marry the girl of his dreams, the mother of his child, because then his income would count and he wouldn't be able to save for a flat of their own and take holidays in the sun. Maybe I should go to the ER and get checked out for free while I'm over here. I could tell everyone my name is Vicious Aloyisius.
We took the entire site down today for like 15 minutes. Old Fat Ass almost had a stroke. What a fucking idiot. He immediately started screaming about how much money he was losing, in 15 minutes, and how he was taking it out of the job. Sure you will, Fat Ass. He could only have lost like $1,200, max. What a retard. I'll finish encoding the traps tonight and then in the morning we'll switch over to the new design. Once I know everything's running cool and I have a good enough grip on Fat Ass and Edwin's balls I can go home. Not a minute too soon.
I still have to find some of that Mary Meko stuff for my chick.
The Shadow knows 1:23 AM
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March 26, 2005
Stupid goddam motherfucking idiots at the airport lost my bag. Fucking idiot moron retards are supposed to call me when they find it. Fuck I hate London. It's cold here. I have to cab all the way down to Camden to get a decent meal. I fucking hate it here. Edwin better get his ass over here right fucking now. I don't give a shit what time it is.
I am so goddam hungry right now. There's a place I was at last time and I can't remember where fuck it is now. This place had these buns that were so good. They were full of butter and the coffee was so good and I can taste it in my mouth but I can't remember where the fuck it is or the exact name of it and the stupid bitch at information can't understand me and asks me if I'm American. I didn't want to give her the satisfaction because she can't help me so I said I was Canandian. Blame Canada. Fucking Edwin better be on his way over right now. I swear to Jesus if he's not here by the time I finish this post I'm going over to his crib and busting down his door. I'm waking up his stupid Russian wife who refuses to work and his dumb baby that cries all fucking day.
I need to sleep. I tried to sleep on the plane but this fucking moron idiot bitch insisted on trying to tell me her entire life story and how she felt so sorry for me that I would be away for Easter and then she wanted to know all about my family. I knew she wouldn't shut the fuck up unless I totally insulted her so I said that I was raised in a cult until my mom tried to leave and my dad shot her in the face. I told her that my sister and I escaped and wandered around in the desert until we were picked up by authorities for vagrancy and then we both ended up in foster care. She called me a poor dear until I finished my little tale. I told her my sister was now one of the most famous porn stars ever and that I was well on my way to being the premier game developer in the world. I told her my newest game on the horizon is called Cannibal and was based on different cannibalistic episodes in the history of mankind. The Amazonian tribes of the Emerald Forest, The Donner Party, The Soccer Team in the Andes. The trick to winning the game is to eat as much human flesh as possible, but that it was quality not quantity. I mean if you eat just a bunch of kids, hey that's a treat and a great source of proteins. But just consider what you gain by eating someone really special. For instance, Albert Einstein. In my game, if one were to eat old Al, well hey. You just became a genius. What if you eat Donald Trump? Bill Gates? The Pope? Strategy is the key. The stupid kind-hearted well-meaning simple-minded bitch just said "how nice for you, dear" and then she finally turned her back to me and I got 2 hours sleep.
The phone's ringing. That fucking better be Edwin or the clerk telling me he's on his way up.
The Shadow knows 8:05 PM
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March 20, 2005
I have to go to London. This fucking dumb ass I did a job for got some other fucking dumb ass in to tweak the additions and now the whole thing is totally fucked. What a retard. I told him it was gonna cost him about $4,000 more than I think it will. Consider that my standard bullshit fee. What a fucker. I told him Edwin wouldn't be able to do it. I fucking told his stupid fat ass to call me when he was ready for the additions. What a jacker. Did he really think I wouldn't encode a trap? What a lame ass Edwin is. He should have called me first. I'm really kind of pissed that I heard from the casher before I heard from the jobber. What a bunch of bullshit. I don't really have to go to London, but I want the opportunity to laugh in his stupid fat face. Now I can't trust Edwin for shit. I do have to go to London. I have to lay new traps. What a bunch of bullshit. It's gonna be cold over there. What a fucker. He better not say shit to me. He better just shut the fuck up and let me do my thing and pay me my money and stay the fuck out of my way. Stupid little crybaby momma's boy fat little bitch. What's he gonna do? Redesign the whole fucking thing? Get another webber in there? Well, alright. Go right the fuck ahead, bitch. See if it flies.
My chick wants me to bring her back some Mary Meko fabric. I have no idea what that is, but I'm sure I'll find it in London.
The Shadow knows 7:23 PM
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March 15, 2005
My da got arrested. Some girl parked her car across his driveway because she was having an asthma attack and instead of calling 911 for her he just stood there screaming at her and calling her dummy. Then he tried to drag her out of her car and move it himself. That's why he got arrested. His stupid girlfriend was too afraid to go bail him out so I had to do it. My chick and I were this close to taking off to Vegas, but I couldn't do it. I bailed him out but we made him find his own way home. What a dick my dad is. I hope the chick sues him and takes his house and his business. That would lose him his stupid girlfriend. He'd be a broken man.
When he got out of jail he was trying to tell us how stupid the chick was and how she shouldn't have been driving if she was so sick or that she should have driven herself straight to the hospital or called 911 herself from her cell. The cop told us that she'd tried to get out of the car and that's when she dropped her inhalor and her cell phone. Poor girl. The Gods sent my stupid drunkass dad to help her. She must have done something really bad to make the Gods angry. Oh, well. Now she can sue him for all he's worth which is quite a lot.
My chick sent her a get well card and a pillow thing to put over your eyes so you can sleep. She puts flowers in it that are supposed to make you dream and shit. My dad'll freak when he finds that out. I can't wait.
My monster fried his brains. We totally fucked up the laser eyes. I admit I don't really know what I'm doing with the monster's head. I'm thinking about hooking up with Bardo on the head. I like what he did for the Sinphony show. I don't think monster's eyes need to be anything more than the redtag lasers. I think we were a little cowboy with the blue and green. I don't know. I'll call Bardo and we'll find out.
My dad is such a dick.
The Shadow knows 1:52 PM
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March 09, 2005
I got a lot of work done these last couple of days. I got the Jefferson thing all done and got paid. Then I spent nearly all of it on monster parts. I got started on two more projects. One will be a quickie but it pays really good. I'll be able to skate for months just on that. The other will take almost a year. It's enough to pay for two year's worth of living expenses. I'm stashing all of that for a rainy rainy rainy day. I talked to a guy who works with one of my chick's friends. He's a financial planner guy for people with money. I told him I didn't have any. He said he could turn my big fat check into a nest egg. I told him to prove it.
I ran up to Duarte to look for monster parts all day yesterday. I found a ton of shit up there. I found some eyes and a nose. I found a mouth. I met a guy Saturday night who works as a prop master. He told me to call him for anything and he had some suggestions for the jaw.
I want to take my chick on a road trip. She's never been to NYC or DC. They both have museums of clothes and I think she might like that. She wants to go to Paris but I'm not taking her. I think it would be fun to do NYC with her but I'm not going overseas any time soon.
I think I've figured out a way to get the effect I want from the abalone shells. I have to just fix the diffused lighting thing and I'll be good to go.
The Shadow knows 9:14 PM
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March 03, 2005
Today I scored 6 long Harley fenders. Fucking A. I swear to god if this isn't the most bad ass monster anyone ever created. I am Frankenstein. My monster will rage this entire city. Can't fucking wait. Going to another fucking party on Saturday. Should I write "I promise not to piss on anyone's head" 100 times on the board? Fuck it. My monster will walk through the streets of Willmore City and everyone will bow down and be afraid.
The Shadow knows 9:52 PM
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March 01, 2005
Just got back from a midnight run to the scrap yards. I love this fucked up city. We got a hood from an old DeSoto. I'm so fucking thrilled. We dumped it in the back and I went inside to get the Naval Jelly out and get started. By the time I got back outside three ghetto rats were already inside the hood pretending it was a battle ship. I have no idea where they live (nowhere?) or why they aren't in school (because it's lame?). I gave them five bucks and told them to go buy popsicles and to my extreme amazement they came back with one for me. They bought me the single grape and bought themselves bombers. I told them to beat it. Maybe they'll go bug JJ now.
So now I sat down to make myself comfortable and start my design for the big secret project and I check my mail and some cunt who thinks she's more man than me had nothing better to do than write and tell me so. Interesting. She doesn't think I should have beat up a homeless person. Maybe she thinks they are all saints and that the homeless guy was an angel from the lord in disguise like on some lame fucking prime time sharing and caring bullshit show. I wonder if she's ever really interacted with someone like that in a real situation. You know where the guy stinks so bad he brings tears to your eyes and his breath is so rancid your lungs nearly sieze. I wonder if she's ever been spit on by anyone. Daddy maybe? Boyfriend? Did she just lay there and take it? Did she whimper and ask them to please stop? She probably thinks all homeless people are harmless, saintly folk who've run down on their luck but stand by high morals and have innocent little crushes on the sweet do-gooder chicks who volunteer at the soup kitchen. Wow. What a nice little world she must live in. She says she's bored with me and my life and called my friends bitches. She sounds lonely. I blocked her email. I think she's one of those freakshows who used to write about that asshole from Ohio.
I think my project will turn out pretty cool. The only problem I can think of so far is the lasers. I'm wondering what they do with the grocery store scanners. I'll have to check into that. That could be a way to snag lasers on the cheap.
My chick just got here with the food. I'm not allowed to eat it in my big space anymore because she's been cutting fabric there. She has some kind of raw silk and something else that's like so fragile if you breathe on it she'll break your arm. I have a surprise for her. I talked her design instructor into helping me out with my devious plan. It should be amusing. I was amazed that my chick went for it so easily. She must like me or something.
The Shadow knows 4:27 PM
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