February 28, 2005
Fucking just had to kick the living shit out of some fucking gnarly ass homeless motherfucker. I fucking can't stand idiots who ask for handouts. Fucking cannot stand it. No one has ever in my life given me a handout for any goddam thing ever and this homeless asshole thinks he can just walk up and ask me for all kinds of shit and I'm just fucking obligated to help his sorry ass out. I don't think so. Here's my problem with this. For whatever the fuck reason he's in his sorry fucking situation has nothing whatsofuckingever to do with me. I don't know him. I never did anything to his useless fucking ass. I didn't get him on the booze or the junk or whatever shit he rode onto the streets. So what makes him think I'm going to tolerate his stinking rotten filthy pig ass hanging out on my doorstep asking for all kinds of shit. He didn't even have the balls to ask me if there was something he could do for me. There isn't. But he didn't even ask anyway. When I told him no for like the 200th time he got all aggro and started going off on me. That's when I let him have it. I told him to beat it and that if I ever saw his dirty ass near my door again I'd kick it straight to hell.
Then he spit in my face. You know how this story ends. Fuck him. At least he'll have a nice night in the ER and get some drugs and a shower. That should make him happy. My chick thinks I've been getting in too many fights lately. I'm glad she wasn't here to see it. It would have upset her. She's already upset enough.
I better not see that freak ass again.
The Shadow knows 10:56 PM
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February 25, 2005
My chick's crazy. She went out with her chick friends to some fucking seance shit and called up the ghost of Christmas past and is now all freaked out about all kinds of shit. She won't be alone in my crib because it's too scary. Her roommate's all bent because she won't sleep over there unless roommate is home all night. So, if rommate sleeps at her boyfriend's house she has to call my chick and let her know so we can all synchronize our watches and make sure someone's with my chick at all times.
I knew she was crazy when I met her. That's one of the reasons I asked her out. People were talking shit to her and she was just spitting back the lines. I loved it. I don't like this. I don't like that she's scared. I don't like it that she's too scared to tell me what the fuck happened. All the girls did it, whatever the fuck it was and now they're all sketch and saying it's better we don't know what happened so "HE" won't be mad at us, too. I don't know who "HE" is supposed to be. Someone special that they think they've pissed off. I'm assuming it's the prince of darkness. No, not Ozzy. The devil. Satan. Yeah, that guy.
I told her there was no devil and that satan was a myth. She said she knew that already. So, why is she still scared?
I don't know but I bought her a night light with an angel on it. It made her cry. I'll be totally buck honest. I don't know what the fuck her problem is and I don't know how to make it better. I don't believe in shit you can't kill. If I can't shoot it dead, I don't even want to know about it. I don't want to hear about angels or demons or gods or devils or aliens or elementals. Not buying it. The thing that frightens me is the meth head, the bigot, the zealot, the criminally insane, the true believer, the coming plague, the Bush Administration, US Foreign policy, the cop on the beat, the fools who believe the lies they tell us, the fat dumb and happy.
I don't like this shit. I want the chicks to knock this shit off right now.
The Shadow knows 7:04 PM
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February 21, 2005
Had a bunch of guys over yesterday. It's not my usual kind of a thing. Bonding with the boys. We had a good time though. We watched DVD's and fucked around on the computer. We drew chalk outlines on the walls. It was casual and we just fucked off.
I enjoy the stimulation of human interaction. But only to a point. If I'm with a bunch of people I can groove with it's cool. For a while. Even when it's good sometimes it gets to be too much. I can be totally enjoying myself on the fly or in a crowd or at a party or what the fuck ever and then suddenly it's like okay I'm ready to go now. I just stand up and say, well it's been great but I gotta go now. Drives my chick insane.
Yesterday was fun. I got some good ideas from the guys about my projects. I let them see the sketches of the secret project. I got bud council approval.
The piss incident has been resolved. My friend's lawyer found out so much shit about the idiot we pissed on that he dropped his complaint. The cops just thought it was funny. No one takes him seriously. The chicks have spread the tale throughout the LBC and beyond. He will now and forever be known as the dickhead who got pissed on.
What the fuck. I'd rather get pissed off than pissed on any day.
The Shadow knows 7:32 PM
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February 17, 2005
Just got sprung from the pokey. Boy, that sure was a lot of fun. I guess you all want to know what happened. Jesus, some people need to get lives.
So I was hanging out with my girl at a birthday party in the Country Club. It was really fucking lame. The place is big and cool and there was a band but it was still lame. There was this asshole there who was talking shit to everyone. He was drunk off his ass and his chick had just dumped him and he was a mess. So I kicked his ass.
That's not exactly how it happened. We were downstairs in the patio courtyard thing or whatever and this fucking moron came out and started talking all kinds of shit about the war in Iraq and how his brother was a soldier and serving his country. He just walks up to my girlfrind and her friend and starts talking all this drunken bullshit to impress them and my girlfriend said "Well, what about you?" And he's like what do you mean? And she points out how his brother is over there but not him. Then he starts in with how she's probably a lesbian or a whore because she's so ugly she can't get a guy and she shouldn't be bitter about it. I was standing with a friend over by the Koi pond watching this whole thing.
So then my chick's friend says he wasn't allowed to go to Iraq because even he's too dumb to be trusted over there. So the drunken idiot gets all charged and starts talking shit to both of them about how they should start a porn site with live cam and make enough money for my girlfriend's plastic surgery.
So the guy I was standing with just watching all this shit go down was that chick's guy. So he and me went upstairs to the balcony off the whatever the fuck room it was. This place had a jaccuzzi and a fireplace and a plasma built into the wall and all kinds of shit. Anyway so went out onto the balcony and we started pissing on the guy's head. Our chicks both screamed and ran off and the guy was like "what the fuck?" So he comes running up the stairs like he's just gonna kick some prime ass and we were just hanging out waiting for him.
Then everyone was in this big room with the balcony wanting to see this idiot kick our shit. He couldn't even talk right he was so pissed and drunk. He's saying how he's gonna feed us our own dicks. Whatever. We started walking out and laughing and then he pushed my friend. He swung around and knocked the fucker out cold.
We left and went down to a bar to see a band. We were there for like an hour and then the fucking idiot showed up. His nose was all fucked up and his lip was puffing out but I've seen worse. I've done worse and I've had worse. So he shows up and he's still talking shit. He walks up behind my chick and starts in with the ugly lesbian shit again.
So I went over and grabbed him by the neck and dragged him to the ground so I could stomp his face in. The bartender threw the towel in my face and started yelling at us to take it outside. So we did. He kept saying when his boys got there we were all dead meat. We dragged his ass outside and left him out there.
About 20 minutes later we hear all this banging on the back door. Two guys opened the door and here comes the moron. He stumbles in and falls on the back table. Barkeep calls the 911.
So the cops show up and start talking around and next thing we know my friend and I are in handcuffs. Figures. Some asshole can't hold his liquor or his tongue and two punks end up in the big house because they defend their chicks. Story is so fucking old they should put music to it.
Fuck it. Turns out my buddy has a lawyer. Who woulda guessed that? It took a few days but now we're out of the cell block and that stupid fucking moron finally told the truth about what happened.
After we kicked his ass he mouthed off to some frat guys. He still wants to sue us for pissing on his head.
I can't wait to see that stupid motherfucker again.
The Shadow knows 12:38 PM
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February 06, 2005
Oh boy! It's superbowl sunday. I've been creaming my jeans all fucking day. I just can't stand it. Who will win? Who will win? Oh God who will win the superbowl this year?
Who fucking cares?
I've taken up residency in my new pad. It's fully swinging. I scanned craigslist and did a free run all through LA and the OC. I got a black sofa, a foot stool thing, a coffee table, a drafting table, a new futon frame, a microwave, some dishes and pots and pans and kitchen stuff, a lamp, some bathroom thing that goes behind the toilet to put stuff on, and a big ass mirror to go on the far wall so I can if anyone is coming in behind me. That's the fucking coolest thing.
So, thanks craigslist trashers for throwing all that good shit into the street and alleys. I fucking scored with the drafting table. It came with a chair and a lamp and a slide rule still attached. I had to replace one of the clamps but it was no big deal.
I painted everything. I ended up painting everything mostly black chalkboard paint. I did three coats on every wall. It makes the place look pretty dark but it's cool. I live in a cave unto myself. I painted the microwave oven stove combo thing with black car paint. It turned out pretty good. I got a better fridge free on craigslist and painted it red. I was going to paint it black but then I just at the moment decided red. It looks pretty good.
I went to Costco with some married people I know. I bought as much kiddie chalk as I could with what I had. I also stocked up on food and I bought some towels and dishtowels and other shit there really cheap. They have really cheap shampoo and toilet paper and stuff like that. Now I have a place to store all that shit.
My new place is pretty bad ass I have to admit. I hope my Cambo landlady never comes by. If she does I'll just tell her everything is cool. I've had Asian landloords before. You send them their rent and they never come by or hassle you.
The chick I've been seeing came by and said she wanted to give me a housewarming gift. She came back with all kinds of cool shit. Some big red bowl with holes in it to rinse out spaghetti. She bought these coverings for the sofa so that it looks better. She bought black and white checkerboard and then we put our hand and footprints all over it with red fabric paint. She bought a big basket for dirty laundry and we took it out back this morning and painted it fire engine red. Since I got the new futon she's stayed over twice.
I got my phone turned on and my satellite dish hooked up so now I'm wired. I got a Vonage line so the phone company can't track me. Fascist fuckheads. I hate the phone company. I hid my TV and stereo in a beat up metal cabinet that came with the place. I padlock it when I leave. I take my laptop with me when I go. The guys all around here never work too long after dark and I've only seen one other guy, the welder up the street, here on the weekends. I hate to jinx anything, but I feel pretty secure.
So now that's all settled I can get back to work on the bastard's master plan. That's the codename for the secret project. What secret project? Well, I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you.
The Shadow knows 4:28 PM
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February 01, 2005
I'll be moving into the warehouse this weekend. I went on the roof this morning with a hose. There's no leaks. I found a section on the roof where I can probably hide a dish. That's good. I found an electric oven with a microwave on top and a full-size fridge for free down in Costa Mesa today. We hauled them into the warehouse and plugged 'em in. They kind of hum but they work fine so what do I care? Tomorrow I'll build my loft area and my kitchen around the counter on the back wall. I'll paint on Thursday and throw down some kind of flooring on Friday. Come Saturday night it will be the loft warming party to end all loft warmings.
The only thing I have to deal with is the stink down the alley. I followed the smell and I'm pretty sure there's a meth lab down the next street. I called 911 and told them there was a woman screaming for help right in front of the stinkhouse. I never call in anything other than a woman screaming for help or a bleeding kid. If I want a cop to show up that's all I ever say. I never say why I'm really calling and I never give them my name or number or any of that shit. Fuck 'em. I tell 'em where to go. If they want to show up or do their job it's up to them. They always show up for a bleeding kid. If you say a woman is screaming for help the dumb pigs will even get out of the car and take a look around.
I'm painting the loft black and the doors red. The fridge and stove are avocado green. I haven't decided if I'm into that or if I'll paint them black, too. I've never painted kitchen appliances but I figure car paint should work pretty good.
I feel like Martha fucking Stewart. Is she out of the pokey yet? Maybe I'll invite her to the loft warming.
The Shadow knows 10:35 PM
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